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The Paranoid Person
Afraid of everything
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I hate surprises because I'm afraid I'll mess up the surprise. My friend tried throwing me a surprise party, but I found out, and I said, "Thanks, but next time, just Venmo me the surprise budget. I'll act surprised, promise!
The Time Travel Aficionado
Afraid of altering the future
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I'm a time traveler, and I tried to leave a Yelp review for the Middle Ages. Apparently, they don't appreciate modern sarcasm. Now there's a bounty on my head in the 1400s. I should have just stuck to reviewing restaurants.
The Fearless Adventurer
Afraid of missing out
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I joined a support group for people afraid of missing out. It was great until I realized they had a secret after-meeting party. Now I'm considering joining another support group for people afraid of being excluded from secret parties.
The Superstitious Soul
Afraid of jinxing everything
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I avoid walking under ladders by moonwalking around them. I figure if I'm going to mess with superstitions, I might as well do it in style. The ladder operators are now my biggest fans.
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