bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
Why did the refrigerator break up with the microwave? It couldn't handle the cold shoulder!
0
0
Why did the bicycle break up with its rider? It was tired of being two-tired of their pedal-dictions!
0
0
Why did the comedian get addicted to gardening? He wanted to improve his stand-up roots!
0
0
Why did the grape break up with the raisin? It got tired of its dried-up vine-dictions!
Addicted to Coffee
0
0
You know you're addicted to coffee when your barista starts sending you Christmas cards. I mean, I just wanted a cup of joe, not a lifelong commitment. Last week, I asked for a decaf, and they looked at me like I'd asked for a unicorn frappuccino.
Podcast Obsession
0
0
I've become addicted to podcasts. I listen to them while driving, working, showering—basically, any activity that doesn't require me to listen to another human being. I'm pretty sure my neighbors think I have imaginary friends named Joe Rogan and Serial.
Selfie Addiction
0
0
I'm addicted to taking selfies. My phone's photo album looks like a vanity fair shoot, but the reality is that I just spent an hour trying to get the right angle for a decent profile picture. I've mastered the art of looking photogenic and hungry simultaneously.
Gym Membership Guilt
0
0
I signed up for a gym membership because I thought it would help me overcome my addiction to laziness. Turns out, the only thing I'm lifting is my guilt every time I pass by the gym and head straight to the donut shop next door.
Online Shopping Addiction
0
0
I recently discovered I'm addicted to online shopping. My mailman and I are on a first-name basis now. In fact, I think he knows more about my wardrobe than I do. I ordered a scale online to weigh myself, and when it arrived, I realized it was a scale model of the Eiffel Tower. Well played, universe.
Weather App Dependency
0
0
I realized I'm addicted to checking the weather app when I found myself anxiously scrolling through it during a thunderstorm. Because nothing says safety like knowing exactly when and where lightning will strike, right?
Procrastination Pro
0
0
I'm addicted to procrastination. I once wrote a to-do list that included write a to-do list. If there was a championship for procrastination, I'd probably sign up tomorrow... or maybe the day after.
Social Media Obsession
0
0
I realized I'm addicted to social media when I caught myself trying to swipe right on someone's photo album. I mean, who needs Tinder when you can find love in the comment section of a cat meme? My phone battery lasts longer in a relationship than I do.
Junk Food Junkie
0
0
I'm addicted to junk food, and I've come to terms with it. My idea of a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. I tried to go on a diet once, but I accidentally ate a protein bar while thinking about pizza, and it canceled itself out.
Netflix Binge-Watching
0
0
I'm so addicted to Netflix that when I hear someone say, I'm going to chill, my immediate response is, Do you need a login? My idea of a productive day is finishing an entire series in one sitting. I recently tried to impress someone by saying I speak three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Netflix Subtitles.
Post a Comment