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Joke Types
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
Quick Laughs, Slow Wi-Fi
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I've realized that my laughter is faster than my Wi-Fi. I'll be watching a comedy show, and the punchline hits, I start laughing, and then the Wi-Fi is like, Hold on, let me buffer that laughter for you. Now I have a collection of frozen screen moments with my face contorted in laughter. It's like my internet connection is allergic to humor.
The Quick Laugh Diet
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You know, I tried this new diet called the Quick Laugh Diet. It's simple—you just laugh so hard that your stomach muscles get a workout. I call it the six-pack of chuckles. But, I must warn you, it's not recommended for public transportation. People look at you funny when you burst into laughter on the bus.
Quick Laughs, Slow Elevators
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You ever share a joke in an elevator and hope for quick laughs, but the elevator has other plans? The doors close, and it's just silence. I'm there waiting for laughter, but the elevator is moving at a pace slower than my grandma knitting a sweater. By the time we reach the next floor, I've aged a year.
Quick Laughs, Slow Traffic
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I told a joke in traffic the other day, hoping for quick laughs. But the traffic was moving so slowly that by the time I got a chuckle from the guy in the next car, we'd become lifelong friends. We exchanged phone numbers and made plans for a joint retirement home. Thanks, traffic, for making connections!
Hyphnation Confessions
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I have a confession to make: I've been secretly collecting hyphens. I have a drawer full of them at home. My friends think I'm weird, but I find comfort in their company. Sometimes, late at night, I open the drawer and whisper, Hyphens, you complete me. I've embraced my inner punctuation romantic.
Quick Laughs, Slow Claps
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You ever tell a joke and get a slow clap? It's like your audience is saying, Congratulations, you attempted humor. It's the stand-up comedy equivalent of a participation trophy. I tried to speed it up by telling quick laughs, but the slow claps got even slower. Now I'm just grateful if someone doesn't hit me with a facepalm.
Hyph, Hyph, Hooray! - The Musical
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I've been thinking of turning my struggles with hyphens into a Broadway musical. Picture this: Hyph, Hyph, Hooray! - The Musical. The opening number is all about the confusion of compound words, and the finale is a grand hyphenation ceremony. I'm just waiting for Lin-Manuel Miranda to call me for collaboration.
Hyphnation Frustration
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I've been having some hyphnation frustration lately. You know, when you're typing and trying to put a hyphen in the right place, but autocorrect decides you're trying to start a new word? My texts end up looking like secret codes. I sent a message to my friend saying, I'll be there in five minutes, and autocorrect turned it into, I'll be there in five parrots. I don't even own a parrot!
Hyph, Hyph, Hooray!
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I've been trying to incorporate more hyphens into my life. It's like punctuation jazz. But, every time I use a hyphen, my computer acts like I just performed a magic trick. The screen freezes, and it's like, Ta-da! You just created a compound word! I'm thinking of starting a support group for people who've been traumatized by overenthusiastic autocorrect.
Hyphen Therapy
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I've started hyphen therapy to deal with my punctuation issues. The therapist said, Express yourself with hyphens. So now, instead of talking about my problems, I just string together a series of hyphenated words. My friends are concerned, but at least my therapist thinks my emotional state is well-hyphenated.
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