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Vacations in Your 30s
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Remember when vacations meant exotic destinations and wild adventures? Now, it's more like, Should I spend my time off finally organizing my sock drawer or attempting to assemble that IKEA furniture I bought two years ago? Ah, the joys of adulting.
My Fitness App Judges Me
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I downloaded a fitness app to help me stay in shape. Now, every time I skip a workout, it sends me notifications like, Are you really going to let a bag of chips win? Well, yeah, chips don't make me do burpees.
The Marathon of Adulting
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Adulting is like running a marathon, except it feels more like a sprint to the next paycheck. And instead of water stations, we have coffee breaks to keep us fueled and sane.
Wrinkles and Wisdom
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They say wrinkles are a sign of wisdom. If that's true, then my forehead is practically a library. I've got more lines than a notebook that survived finals week.
Maturity Level: Expert
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I've reached a point in my life where my idea of a wild night is staying up past 10 PM. If that's not the epitome of adulting, I don't know what is. I'm basically a mature expert.
Counting Calories or Counting Regrets?
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I've been trying to watch what I eat lately. You know you're on a diet when you start counting calories. But sometimes I wonder if I should be counting the number of times I regret not ordering the extra-large pizza instead.
Age and Algebra
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You know you're getting old when you have to start using algebra to calculate your age. I mean, the other day I found myself saying, I'm X years old, where X is the number of times my back cracks when I stand up.
Dating in Your 30s
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Dating in your 30s is like solving a Rubik's Cube. You think you've got it all figured out, and then suddenly, you realize you've been matching the wrong colors the entire time. And just like a Rubik's Cube, sometimes you have to twist and turn a few times before it clicks.
My BMI is a Math Problem
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I tried to calculate my BMI the other day, and it felt like solving a complicated math problem. I had to carry the one, subtract my self-esteem, and divide by the number of times I've promised to start working out next Monday. Spoiler alert: the result was Are you kidding me?
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