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I turned '88' recently, and people were like, "Wow, you're getting old." I'm like, "Old? No way, I'm '88' and thriving!" Of course, they thought I meant 88 years old. I'm talking about '88,' the mysterious number from my ghost writer. Life at '88' is different. I wake up and think, "Do I feel like an '8' today, or more like another '8'?" It's like choosing a character in a video game, but instead of superpowers, you get back pain and the ability to fall asleep in any chair.
But hey, I'm embracing it. I'm like a fine wine - I get better with age, and people only appreciate me on special occasions. So, here's to being '88' and still making people laugh. Who says getting older can't be a standup routine?
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Hey, everybody! So, I got this mysterious note from my ghost writer - just two numbers, "88." I'm thinking, is this a secret code? A hidden message? Maybe it's the secret to life, the universe, and everything, but they didn't want to go all "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" on me. I mean, who needs 42 when you can have 88, right? But seriously, I'm over here trying to decipher it like I'm in some spy movie. I even googled it - turns out 88 is the atomic number of radium. Now, unless my career suddenly takes a glowing turn, I don't think I'll be needing that information anytime soon.
And then it hit me - maybe it's the number of people who actually understand my jokes! I'm not saying it's a small number, but it's not exactly prime time TV ratings either.
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You ever get handed a note with just two numbers and wonder, "Is this a joke?" So, I'm thinking, maybe this is my ghost writer's way of telling me I've got '88' problems. But hey, a bad joke ain't one of them! I start listing my problems - bills, relationship issues, existential crises - and then it hits me. My ghost writer is basically saying, "You got problems, but at least you're funny." It's like the universe's way of telling me, "Hey, life's tough, but your punchlines are tougher."
So, if you're ever feeling down, just remember: '88' problems, but a joke ain't one. I'm practically a comedic Jay-Z, minus the millions and the cool factor.
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So, I've been on this new diet plan, guys. It's called the '88' diet. You know, where you only eat things that start with the letter 'H' because it's the eighth letter of the alphabet. Healthy, huh? Well, maybe not. Breakfast? Hash browns. Lunch? Hot dogs. Dinner? More hot dogs because, let's be honest, finding 'H' foods is harder than keeping a straight face in a clown convention.
I thought about cheating with some ham, but then I realized that '88' diet might stand for '88' inches around my waist if I keep this up. I mean, who needs a beach body when you can have a buffet body, right?
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