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Turning 61, and suddenly everyone thinks they're a gift-giving expert. You know you're officially in your 60s when people start giving you practical gifts. Like, "Happy birthday! Here's a really comfortable chair for your back pain." Wow, thanks for the reminder! And don't get me started on technology gifts. I got a smartwatch for my 61st birthday. Great, now I have a constant reminder that my heart rate increases every time I see my credit card bill. It's not a fitness tracker; it's a stress tracker.
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They say age is just a number, but at 61, that number comes with a lot of unsolicited opinions. People act like I should be settling into a quiet, peaceful retirement. Sorry, but I've still got a rebellious spirit. I'm not joining a knitting club; I'm starting a rock band. And the best part? I've reached the age where I can say whatever I want. Want to know the secret to a happy marriage? Selective hearing. "Yes, dear, I heard you. No, I don't remember you telling me to take out the trash. Blame it on the selective hearing, not the age!
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You ever notice how when you turn 61, everyone suddenly thinks they're a nutritionist? Like, "Hey, you know, kale is really good for you. Have you tried chia seeds? They're like a miracle for your digestive system." And I'm sitting there thinking, "Listen, if I make it to 61, I'm considering it a win. I don't need your kale giving me a guilt trip." And then there's the birthday card situation. You get those cards that say, "You're not getting older; you're getting better." Really? Because I'm pretty sure I just found a new wrinkle and a gray hair in my breakfast cereal this morning. I don't know about better, but I'm definitely getting more surprises.
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People say that with age comes wisdom. At 61, I'm starting to think wisdom is just a nice way of saying you've forgotten more passwords than you can remember. I've got more security questions than answers at this point. And the advice you get! "At your age, you should really start taking it easy." Taking it easy? Have you seen my schedule? I've got a retirement plan that involves a beach, not a rocking chair. If anything, I'm accelerating, not slowing down. Wisdom, my friends, is knowing when to ignore the advice.
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