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You ever talk to a 4th grader and think, "Man, they've got life figured out"? I recently had a conversation with one, and they dropped some profound knowledge on me. I asked, "What's the secret to happiness?" And this kid looks at me dead serious and says, "Never run out of snacks." I'm over here stressing about adulting, and this 4th grader's philosophy is all about the snack game. Forget meditation, just grab a bag of chips!
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So, 4th graders are learning about history and geography, right? My nephew comes home and says, "Uncle, did you know people used to communicate by sending letters? Like, on paper, not even emojis!" I'm thinking, "Kid, that's not ancient history!" But then he adds, "And they had to use snail mail because there were no email snails." I can't keep up. I'm just glad I didn't have to explain carrier pigeons.
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Let's talk about 4th-grade homework, the daily soap opera that unfolds in households everywhere. You've got kids stressing over math problems, parents trying not to cry as they attempt to help, and suddenly, the cat is wearing a makeshift cape because, according to the 4th grader, "Mr. Whiskers is the superhero of multiplication." I'm just trying to survive my own drama, and now the cat's a superhero? Forget Marvel, we've got "The Feline Avenger" right in our living room.
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Let's discuss the lunchbox politics of 4th graders. It's a battlefield out there. I asked my niece, "What's the cool lunch these days?" She looks at me like I'm ancient and says, "Uncle, it's all about the rainbow sandwiches and unicorn fruit snacks. Duh." Apparently, if your lunch isn't a magical experience, you're basically eating disappointment. I miss the days when a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was enough to make you the coolest kid in class.
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