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4- and 5-year-olds have this incredible talent for asking the most embarrassing questions in public. "Daddy, why is that man so big?" Thanks, kid, I was trying to avoid that topic, but now we're all staring.
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Have you ever tried explaining the concept of time to a 4- or 5-year-old? It's like teaching quantum physics to a goldfish. "So, yesterday means the day before today." "But why can't tomorrow be yesterday?" Now I'm just confused.
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Trying to keep a 4- or 5-year-old quiet during a movie is like attempting to negotiate world peace in a room full of alarm clocks. They'll be quiet for five minutes, then suddenly, "What just happened?" Well, there goes the plot.
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Bedtime with 4- and 5-year-olds is like negotiating a peace treaty. "Just one more story, one more glass of water, and maybe a song, please!" I'm not putting you to sleep; I'm participating in a bedtime marathon.
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You ever notice how 4- and 5-year-olds are like tiny little conspiracy theorists? They ask questions like they're trying to uncover the secrets of the universe. "Mom, why is the sky blue?" I don't know, kid, but I'm pretty sure it's not a government cover-up.
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4- and 5-year-olds are the only people on the planet who can turn a simple trip to the grocery store into a high-stakes negotiation. "I'll behave if you buy me that giant chocolate bar." It's like dealing with pint-sized mob bosses.
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You ever try reasoning with a 4- or 5-year-old about food? "You can't survive on gummy bears and juice alone, buddy." But try explaining the importance of veggies, and suddenly you're the enemy of fun.
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4- and 5-year-olds have this magical ability to turn the simplest household items into toys. Give a kid a cardboard box, and suddenly it's a spaceship, a castle, and a time machine—all before lunch.
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4- and 5-year-olds have an uncanny ability to spot the one piece of fragile, expensive decor in a room and make a beeline for it. "Oh, is this your grandmother's antique vase? I thought it was a basketball!" Kids, the real-life wrecking balls.
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