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Preschoolers have a unique sense of style. It's like they raided a costume shop and decided, "Yep, this is my Tuesday look." My neighbor's kid came over the other day wearing a cape, rain boots, and sunglasses. I asked him if he was going to a superhero party or a fashion show, and he just shrugged and said, "I'm ready for anything." And let's talk about their fashion critiques. I wore a tie-dye shirt once, and a four-year-old looked at me and said, "Nice shirt. Did you make it in the washing machine?" I mean, thanks for the fashion tip, kid. Next time, I'll skip the spin cycle.
But you've got to admire their confidence. My nephew walked into preschool wearing a mismatched outfit, and when a classmate asked him about it, he said, "It's called fashion, look it up." I wish I had that level of confidence when I accidentally wear my shirt inside out.
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Preschool logic is a whole different ball game. I asked a little girl why she thought the sky was blue, and she looked at me with all the seriousness in the world and said, "Because the crayon box said so." Well, you can't argue with Crayola, can you? They also have these elaborate explanations for everything. I overheard a conversation between two kids discussing where babies come from. One kid confidently declared, "Babies are delivered by storks." The other one raised an eyebrow and said, "That's so last century. Nowadays, babies come with Amazon Prime – free shipping for Prime members."
And have you ever tried to outsmart a preschooler? It's impossible. I tried to explain gravity to my niece, and she just stared at me and said, "You're telling me I can't float away like a balloon if I let go of this apple?" I nodded, and she replied, "Well, that's just poor design.
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Preschoolers are the kings and queens of drama. One day, my niece came running to me, tears streaming down her face, and I asked what happened. She wailed, "Tommy didn't share his imaginary friend with me!" Imaginary friend drama – it's like a soap opera for the sandbox generation. And their apologies are something else. I witnessed a preschooler accidentally knock over another kid's tower of blocks, and he went all Shakespearean, saying, "I am sorry, fair playmate, for the tragic demise of your architectural masterpiece. Let us rebuild and forge anew." I couldn't help but applaud his theatrics.
But the pinnacle of preschool drama has to be the naptime negotiations. They treat naptime like a hostage situation. One kid tried to trade his teddy bear for an extra 10 minutes of playtime. I thought, "Kid, you've got a future negotiating international treaties.
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You ever try having a conversation with a preschooler? It's like negotiating with a tiny dictator. They have this wisdom that's simultaneously adorable and baffling. The other day, I asked a kid what he wanted to be when he grows up, and he looked me dead in the eye and said, "I wanna be a dinosaur." I thought, "Kid, I've been dreaming of becoming a dinosaur for years, but adulting got in the way." You can learn a lot from preschoolers. Like, they've got these life philosophies that are just mind-blowing. One kid told me, "If you don't like your food, just pretend your fork is a spaceship, and suddenly broccoli becomes an alien invasion." I tried it; turns out, my taste buds are not fooled by intergalactic culinary adventures.
And don't get me started on their negotiation tactics. They're like tiny lawyers. My nephew wanted extra cookies, so he came up to me and said, "Uncle, let's make a deal. I'll eat my veggies if you add sprinkles to the broccoli." I thought, "Kid, you've got a future in politics.
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