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I attempted to join a baseball team once. The coach asked me if I had a good pitch. I said, "Well, in high school, I could throw a mean pizza slice across the cafeteria. Does that count?
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You ever notice how everyone becomes a salesperson on social media? Your friend posts a picture of a sunset, and suddenly they're pitching you a timeshare in the clouds. "Limited spots available, act now!
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I tried to explain the concept of a sales pitch to my grandma. She said, "Back in my day, we didn't need pitches. If you wanted something, you had to wrestle a bear or trade three chickens for it. Simple times.
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I saw a commercial the other day for a perfect pitch training kit. I thought, "Great, just what I need – to confuse my neighbors when I start belting out Adele songs in the middle of the night.
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Ever notice how people's voices change when they're trying to sell you something? They could be pitching a lawnmower, and suddenly it sounds like they're narrating a Shakespearean play. "To buy or not to buy, that is the question.
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Dating is a lot like a sales pitch. You try to highlight your best features and downplay your quirks. But let's be real, after a few months, the pitch turns into a blooper reel, and you're both just hoping the other person still finds you marketable.
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You know, my friend tried to explain the concept of a perfect pitch to me. I said, "Listen, my singing is so bad; even the shower goes off-key. Perfect pitch? I'm aiming for 'not making dogs howl' pitch.
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My dog has a better pitch than any telemarketer. He barks at the door, and suddenly, I'm convinced that the neighbor's cat is a once-in-a-lifetime offer that I absolutely cannot miss.
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I overheard someone talking about the perfect elevator pitch. I thought, "Great, now not only do I have to impress people in 30 seconds, but I also need to do it while avoiding awkward eye contact and pretending to check my phone.
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