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Piggyback rides, what a misleading name. It sounds all cute and fun, like you're just hopping on someone's back for a quick joyride. But in reality, it's a workout that no one signed up for. They should call it "I hope you've been doing squats at the gym because my back is not ready for this" rides. And don't get me started on the piggyback ride guilt trip – you know, when someone asks, and you can't say no without looking like a heartless jerk. It's like an unplanned CrossFit session with emotional baggage.
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You know, I was thinking about piggy banks the other day. You remember those little ceramic pigs we used to stuff our hard-earned pennies into as kids? Yeah, the original cryptocurrency! But here's the thing, my piggy bank growing up had a more active social life than I did. I'd hear it clinking and clanking in the middle of the night. It was like my savings account was out partying without me. And the worst part? When I finally cracked that piggy open, it had just enough for a candy bar and a dream. So much for early retirement!
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You ever notice how picky pigs are about what they eat? They say pigs will eat anything, but I think they're just being choosy. I mean, you try offering a pig a salad; it looks at you like you just insulted its ancestors. I imagine a piggy food critic rating our leftovers: "Two out of five slops, not enough truffle oil." Seriously, if pigs had cooking shows, they'd be the Gordon Ramsay of the barnyard. "This slop is so bland, it's an insult to swine everywhere!
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Dating is a lot like having a piggy bank. You invest time and emotions, hoping for a big payoff. But sometimes, all you get is the emotional equivalent of spare change. And then there's the issue of breaking the piggy bank – or in relationship terms, the breakup. You ever try to break up with someone and have them stare at you like you just smashed their beloved piggy bank? "But we had so many emotional pennies in there!" Breaking up is like breaking a piggy bank, messy and you can't put it back together. I mean, I tried, but super glue doesn't fix a broken heart.
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