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You ever wonder if the government is behind the whole piecost thing? I mean, think about it. They want us to believe that pies are the new gold standard. Next thing you know, we'll have Fort Knox filled with cherry turnovers, and the President will address the nation with a pie chart. I bet there are secret meetings where world leaders discuss global stability in terms of piecrust thickness. Imagine a UN summit where diplomats are negotiating peace treaties over a slice of key lime pie. It's like, "If you give us Alaska, we'll throw in a dozen donuts, deal?"
I tried paying my taxes with a fruit tart once. Let's just say the IRS wasn't amused. They sent me a letter saying, "We appreciate the effort, but we prefer cash or check, not confectionery.
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You know, I tried to buy a car the other day, and the salesman was like, "That'll be 20,000 piecosts." I'm sitting there, thinking, "Can I get a payment plan in cupcakes, maybe?" And then he says, "Sorry, we only accept whole pies, no slices." Now, I'm stuck trying to figure out how many pies I need to bake to pay off my mortgage. It's like the American dream got a pastry makeover. Forget about 30-year mortgages; we're talking about a lifetime supply of custard-filled dreams!
I went to the bank to take out a loan, and the loan officer asked, "What's your credit score in blueberries?" I told him, "It's in the berry good range." Needless to say, I left with a toaster pastry and a pamphlet on financial planning.
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Dating has become a whole new challenge in the era of piecosts. Imagine taking your significant other out for a romantic dinner, and the menu reads, "Filet Mignon - 50 piecosts, Salmon - 40 piecosts, Vegan Option - priceless." Suddenly, love comes with a hefty dessert bill. And then there's the proposal. Instead of getting down on one knee, you present a ring hidden inside a raspberry-filled pastry. It's like a game of culinary hide-and-seek, but with higher stakes.
I asked my girlfriend, "Will you be the jelly to my donut?" She said yes, but only if I promised to throw in a dozen cronuts for good measure. Love in the time of piecosts, folks—it's a sticky situation!
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You ever notice how certain things in life just don't make any sense? Like, who came up with the idea of a "piecost"? I mean, seriously, it sounds like something you'd find in a parallel universe where desserts are used as currency. I imagine going to the grocery store, and the cashier says, "That'll be three piecosts, please." And I'm standing there like, "Do you accept apple turnovers as a down payment?" It's like they took the concept of inflation and turned it into a baking challenge.
I tried to Google the exchange rate for piecosts, but all I got were pictures of confused chefs scratching their heads. Maybe the economy would be better if we switched to a pie-based monetary system. I can already see the headlines: "The Dow Jones Crumble Index Soars!
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