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The Movie Plot Theorist
Overanalyzing every movie plot and predicting twists that aren't there
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I suggested watching a documentary, and my friend said, "Nah, those are just real-life movies with no plot twists. Boring." I guess he hasn't heard of surprise tax audits.
The Social Media Analyst
Reading too much into every like, comment, and emoji on social media
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I asked my friend why he unfollowed me. He said, "Your online presence lacks existential depth." I didn't know I needed to be a philosopher to keep followers.
The Relationship Investigator
Analyzing every word and action in a relationship, looking for hidden meanings
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I overheard a couple arguing about the tone of a "okay" text. She said, "Why didn't you use an exclamation mark?" He said, "I was just being grammatically correct." Love, where punctuation determines happiness.
The Conspiracy Theorist
Overanalyzing every piece of information, convinced everything is a plot
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The other day, my conspiracy theorist buddy handed me a tin foil hat and said, "Wear this, it protects your thoughts." I asked, "From what?" He said, "Overanalysis." Now I'm just overanalyzing the effectiveness of my new fashion accessory.
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