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The Actor's Rival
Jealousy over Paul Newman's good looks and success
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I heard Paul Newman's eyes were so blue, they once stole a role from a less colorful actor. Now I can't even trust my own salad to not outshine me.
The Salad Dressing Enthusiast
Paul Newman's salad dressing being too good to be true
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I bought a bottle of Paul Newman's dressing thinking it would make me a better person. Turns out, it just made my lettuce more popular than me.
The Time Traveler
Traveling back in time to share Paul Newman's dressing with historical figures
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I brought Paul Newman's dressing to the dinosaurs. Now they're extinct because they couldn't stop arguing over who got the last bottle.
The Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist
Believing there's something suspicious about Paul Newman's charity work
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I tried to join Paul Newman's charity, but they said they were full. Now I'm wondering if they're just protecting the recipe for the secret salad dressing Illuminati.
The Alien Observer
Trying to understand Earth's fascination with Paul Newman's salad dressing
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If aliens ever invade and try Paul Newman's salad dressing, they might decide Earth is worth saving. Or they might just take the recipe and leave. It's a risky move for humanity.
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