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Patties Anonymous
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You know you've hit rock bottom when you find yourself at a support group for people addicted to patties. Hi, my name is [Your Name], and I've been clean for a week. The struggle is real, my friends. It's like I've got a secret admirer, and their name is cholesterol.
Patties and the Spice Dilemma
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I like my life with a little spice, and by spice, I mean ketchup. You know you're a pattie enthusiast when you have more types of ketchup than friends. Oh, you like spicy? Try the jalapeño ketchup, it's life-changing!
The Invention of the Pattie-cam
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I swear, if there's one thing that deserves its own social media platform, it's the pattie-cam. You know, a camera that captures the beauty of patties 24/7. Forget about Instagram, it's time for Insta-pattie. I'd follow that in a heartbeat.
Patties and the City
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Dating in the city is tough. You've got these high standards, swiping left and right. I tried applying the same logic to food, and let me tell you, my relationship with patties is the longest and most satisfying one I've ever had. Who needs a significant other when you have a significant patty?
Pattie-saurus Rex
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Scientists recently discovered a new dinosaur fossil in my kitchen. Turns out it's the elusive Pattie-saurus Rex. I think it went extinct because it couldn't resist the temptation of its own deliciousness. I get it, buddy. It's a tough world out there.
Patties and the Mystery of the Missing Socks
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I've solved the mystery of the missing socks. Turns out, they were tired of their mundane lives and decided to join a gang of rebellious patties. Now they're living it up in the sock drawer nightclub, and I'm stuck here with mismatched socks. Thanks a lot, patties.
Patties and the Fitness Dilemma
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I'm on a new fitness program. It's called the Patty-cize workout. You do a set of squats for every patty you eat. So far, my thighs are in great shape, and my kitchen is out of patties. It's a win-win situation, or as I like to call it, squats and sauces.
Patty-cake, Patty-cake, Baker's Folly
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I tried baking once. Keyword: tried. I followed the recipe religiously, but my homemade patties turned out looking more like UFOs. I guess the aliens are now getting a taste of our culinary expertise. Take me to your flavor!
The Great Pattie Heist
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I've heard of high-stakes robberies, but have you ever tried stealing patties from the office fridge? It's like participating in a covert mission. You need a diversion, a decoy, and a getaway plan. The office detective is Karen from HR, and she takes her lunch very seriously.
Patties and the Alien Conspiracy
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I think aliens have been secretly visiting Earth, not for world domination, but for the perfect patty recipe. I imagine them saying, Take us to your flavor labs! If I ever get abducted, I hope it's for a cooking show on an intergalactic food network.
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