19 Jokes For Patrick's Day

Puns

Updated on: Aug 30 2024

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What do you call a leprechaun's vacation home? A lepre-condo!
Why did the leprechaun start a band on Patrick's Day? He wanted to play some jig-rock music!
What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock!
What did the leprechaun say to the elf? Irish you a Happy Patrick's Day!
What did the bartender say to the leprechaun who walked into the bar? You're magically welcome here!
How did the leprechaun fix the sidewalk? With shamrocks and roll!
What do you call a big Irish spider? Paddy long legs!
What's an Irish car's favorite music? Sham-rock!
What's a leprechaun's favorite kind of music? Sham-rock and roll!
St. Patrick's Day is the only day you'll see grown adults excited about finding a four-leaf clover. I found one and thought, 'Great, now where's my pot of gold? Oh wait, I spent it on this green beer.'
I decided to celebrate St. Patrick's Day by speaking with an Irish accent all day. By noon, I sounded like a leprechaun with a bad head cold. People thought I was auditioning for a role in 'Leprechaun: The Musical.'
St. Patrick's Day, the only day drinking green beer is socially acceptable. I tried that on Christmas once, and people thought I was a festive alien!
I wore so much green on St. Patrick's Day that my friends started calling me the 'Hulk of Hibernia.' The only thing I smashed that day was a plate of corned beef and cabbage.
On St. Patrick's Day, I decided to try my hand at Irish step dancing. Let's just say I have a new appreciation for chairs as stabilizers. I turned the pub into a makeshift obstacle course.
I tried to organize a St. Patrick's Day parade in my neighborhood. It was just me and my dog wearing matching green outfits, walking around the block. We got a few strange looks, but I'd call it a success.
St. Patrick's Day is like a test of friendship. If your friend can still pronounce your name after a few pints of Guinness, they're a keeper. Otherwise, they'll just call you 'Shamrock' for the rest of the night.
St. Patrick's Day is the only day where being pinched for not wearing green is a legitimate concern. I walked into the office wearing blue and immediately became the human pincushion. Note to self: invest in more green clothes or a suit of armor.
St. Patrick's Day is the one day a year where everyone is Irish. It's like a massive identity theft, but with less paperwork and more dancing leprechauns.
I celebrated St. Patrick's Day at an Irish pub last year. They had a sign that said 'Free Hugs.' Turns out, it was just the bartender's way of saying, 'Get out, you've had enough!'

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