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Why did the leprechaun start a band on Patrick's Day? He wanted to play some jig-rock music!
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What did the leprechaun say to the elf? Irish you a Happy Patrick's Day!
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What did the bartender say to the leprechaun who walked into the bar? You're magically welcome here!
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St. Patrick's Day is the only day you'll see grown adults excited about finding a four-leaf clover. I found one and thought, 'Great, now where's my pot of gold? Oh wait, I spent it on this green beer.'
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I decided to celebrate St. Patrick's Day by speaking with an Irish accent all day. By noon, I sounded like a leprechaun with a bad head cold. People thought I was auditioning for a role in 'Leprechaun: The Musical.'
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St. Patrick's Day, the only day drinking green beer is socially acceptable. I tried that on Christmas once, and people thought I was a festive alien!
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I wore so much green on St. Patrick's Day that my friends started calling me the 'Hulk of Hibernia.' The only thing I smashed that day was a plate of corned beef and cabbage.
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On St. Patrick's Day, I decided to try my hand at Irish step dancing. Let's just say I have a new appreciation for chairs as stabilizers. I turned the pub into a makeshift obstacle course.
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I tried to organize a St. Patrick's Day parade in my neighborhood. It was just me and my dog wearing matching green outfits, walking around the block. We got a few strange looks, but I'd call it a success.
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St. Patrick's Day is like a test of friendship. If your friend can still pronounce your name after a few pints of Guinness, they're a keeper. Otherwise, they'll just call you 'Shamrock' for the rest of the night.
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St. Patrick's Day is the only day where being pinched for not wearing green is a legitimate concern. I walked into the office wearing blue and immediately became the human pincushion. Note to self: invest in more green clothes or a suit of armor.
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St. Patrick's Day is the one day a year where everyone is Irish. It's like a massive identity theft, but with less paperwork and more dancing leprechauns.
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