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The Fitness Tracker
Trying to outrun my fitness tracker's judgmental beeps
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Outrunning my fitness tracker is my cardio. It beeps, I sprint. It's the only race where I'm simultaneously the tortoise and the hare.
The Last Cookie Stand
Outrunning the temptation of the last cookie
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I tried to outrun the last cookie's call by hiding it. Spoiler alert: I found it, and it found its way into my stomach. It's like the Houdini of baked goods.
The Snail's Escape
Attempting to outrun a snail's pace escape plan
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I saw a snail attempting a jailbreak from my aquarium. It was moving so slowly; I had time to Netflix and chill before it reached the edge. I guess it watched too many Shawshank Redemption reruns.
The Tortoise and the Hare Rematch
Trying to outrun my childhood trauma of losing to a tortoise
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My therapist said I need closure with that tortoise. So, I bought a pet tortoise, and now we have weekly races. I've nicknamed him "Therap-ease.
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