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Ever notice how the most optimistic person in the office is always the one who brings a salad for lunch every day? Like, are you really that happy eating leaves? I want whatever dressing they're using on life.
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Why do we call it an "optimal" solution? I mean, life's not a math problem. If it were, I'd be the guy who always forgets to carry the one. My solutions are more like "suboptimal at best.
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Optimus Prime was a great leader, but I bet even he struggled with parallel parking. "Roll out, Autobots, but make sure you check your side mirrors first!
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Optimus Prime must have had a tough time choosing a career after saving the world. "Well, I'm great at leadership, but I'm not sure if the job market has openings for giant robot heroes. Maybe I'll try accounting.
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You ever notice how parking lots are like the battlegrounds for Optimus Prime and Megatron? I mean, you find an open space, and suddenly it's a giant robot showdown just to fit your car in there without hitting any other Autobots.
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You ever notice how the most optimistic people are the ones who set 20 alarms to wake up in the morning? It's like they believe each alarm is a motivational speech that will kick them out of bed.
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You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new vacuum cleaner. I recently bought the Optimus Prime of vacuums – it transforms from a carpet cleaner to a hardwood floor warrior. If only it could do my taxes too.
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Why do they call it "optical" illusion? It's not like my eyes are having a philosophical debate. It's more like, "Is that a cat or a watermelon? Oh, it's just a weirdly shaped pillow.
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Optimus Prime would have aced job interviews. "So, Optimus, what's your greatest strength?" "Transforming, both literally and metaphorically. Also, excellent team management skills, but mostly the transforming thing.
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