4 Jokes For One More Time

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 17 2024

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You know how some people have a theme song for their life? Well, mine is more like a remix album, and the universe is the DJ with a penchant for replaying embarrassing tracks. The other day, I was at a karaoke night, thinking I could redeem myself from my usual embarrassing encounters. I picked a song, got up on stage, and started singing.
Midway through the song, the karaoke machine decided to glitch, and my voice echoed in this weird, distorted way. The crowd erupted in laughter, and I'm there holding the mic, thinking, "One more time, universe? Really?" It's like the universe was giving my performance a remix, complete with sound effects.
I've come to accept it now; I'm the universe's favorite comedian, and my life is one big comedy special with a recurring theme: "One more time." It's a hit, apparently. At least someone's enjoying the show.
You ever notice how the universe has this unwritten rule that if something awkward or embarrassing is going to happen, it's always going to happen to you? Like, no one else in the room, just you. The other day, I was at a coffee shop trying to impress this cute barista, right? I go up to order, and I try to say something smooth like, "I'll have a latte, extra foam." Simple, right? But no, not for me.
As I'm placing my order, the person next to me drops their tray, there's a loud crash, and the whole place goes silent. Everyone's staring at me like I'm the one who caused the chaos. And I'm just standing there thinking, "One more time, universe? Really?" It's like the universe has a personal vendetta against my social dignity.
I mean, I can't catch a break. But hey, at least I've mastered the art of looking unfazed in awkward situations. Inside, I'm screaming, "Why me?" But on the outside, I'm just calmly sipping my latte, because apparently, I ordered it with a side of public humiliation.
You know, they say lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, but embarrassing moments sure do. It's like life has this highlight reel of my most awkward experiences, and it loves hitting the replay button. I call it "The 'One More Time' Chronicles."
Take job interviews, for instance. I had this interview the other day, and everything was going great. I was confident, answering questions like a pro. Then, out of nowhere, my stomach decides to join the conversation, and it lets out the loudest growl. I'm sitting there, thinking, "One more time, digestive system? Really?" It's like my body has its own sense of comedic timing.
I swear, if I ever write a memoir, it's going to be titled, "Awkward Moments: A Symphony in One Act." Spoiler alert: it's just me saying, "One more time" over and over again.
You ever notice how life sometimes feels like a bad sitcom, and you're stuck in the never-ending season of awkwardness? I recently went to a party, trying to be social and all. Everything was going fine until I tried to make a toast. I raise my glass, and just as I start to speak, someone spills their drink. It's like a scene out of a slapstick comedy movie. Everyone laughs, and I'm standing there thinking, "One more time, universe? Really?"
I swear, if my life were a movie, it would be directed by Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, and it'll happen one more time, just for good measure. I've accepted it now; I'm the star of my very own awkward sitcom, and the punchline is always, "One more time.

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