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Ever noticed how office meetings always start with that awkward dance of choosing seats? It's like a high-stakes game of musical chairs, but instead of music, it's the fear of sitting next to the guy who microwaves fish.
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Isn't it ironic that in office meetings about productivity, we spend half the time discussing why the Wi-Fi is slower than a snail on vacation? If sluggishness burned calories, we'd all be fitness gurus by now.
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I love how in every office meeting, there's that one person who thinks using corporate jargon makes them sound smarter. "Let's touch base offline and circle back with some actionable insights." Translation? "Let's talk later, and I have no clue what I'm doing.
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Ever notice how in office meetings, everyone's suddenly an expert on every topic? Steve from accounting transforms into Steve the Marketing Guru, suggesting we should pivot our entire business model. Yeah, Steve, maybe let's pivot to keeping your plants alive first.
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You ever sit in an office meeting and wonder if it's secretly a test of endurance? Ten slides in, and I'm pretty sure I've aged five years. Forget the company retreat; this meeting is the real team-building exercise.
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You know you're in for a treat when an office meeting is described as "brief," but it lasts longer than a Lord of the Rings marathon. I've seen hobbits reach Mordor faster than we reach a consensus on the agenda.
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You ever notice how office meetings have this unspoken rule where the person with the least relevant input talks the most? Karen from HR suddenly becomes an expert on supply chain logistics, despite not knowing the difference between a pen and a pencil.
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It's always amusing when office meetings end with that one person saying, "Great meeting, everyone!" as if we've just crafted the Magna Carta. Buddy, the only thing we've achieved is collectively agreeing that nobody wants a 2-hour meeting on a Friday afternoon.
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It's fascinating how office meetings have the power to make the most mundane topics sound like life-altering decisions. "Should we switch to blue pens?" Suddenly, it's as if we're debating the fate of humanity.
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