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The Coffee Addict in Accounting
Dealing with the horror of the coffee machine breaking down
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I overheard someone saying we should form a support group for the coffee-deprived. I thought, "That's cute, but I'm not here for emotional support. I need a venti-sized IV drip of caffeine, pronto." If this office was a ship, I'd be the first one to abandon it. "Women and children first!" Nah, just me and the coffee machine.
The Unlucky IT Guy
Battling with the office printer and its mysterious malfunctions
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People treat me like a tech superhero when the printer is on the fritz. They're like, "Save us, IT guy!" And I'm standing there, holding a USB cable like it's a magic wand. I wave it around, mutter some tech jargon, and hope for the best. Spoiler alert: It rarely works.
The Overly Ambitious Intern
Trying to impress everyone but failing hilariously
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I asked the intern to water the office plants, thinking it's a simple task. The next day, I walk in, and the plants are floating in a mini inflatable pool. Apparently, they thought the plants needed a vacation. I appreciate the effort, but now I have to fish my desk succulent out of a kiddie pool every morning.
The Office Gossip
Balancing the drama of the workplace while trying not to be caught spreading rumors
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I decided to mess with the office gossip once. I started spreading false rumors about myself just to see how quickly they'd catch on. Next thing I know, they're telling everyone I'm secretly a spy. I don't know if that's a compliment or a sign that the office drama has reached James Bond levels of absurdity.
The Overly Enthusiastic Janitor
Trying to clean the office but accidentally creating chaos
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I swear, he's got this superpower where anything he touches turns into a cleaning tool. I handed him a stapler, and the next thing I know, he's using it as a duster. Now every time I try to staple something, it comes out covered in Windex. At least it's streak-free, I guess.
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