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Why did the octopus start a stand-up comedy club? Because it had eight tentickles!
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Why did the octopus refuse to fight in the boxing ring? It didn't want to get sucker-punched!
Octopus Comedy Special
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I did a comedy special for octopuses once. It was a hit, but only because they thought it was a cooking show. They're still trying to figure out why the punchlines didn't taste like calamari.
Octopus Stand-Up Critics
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Octopuses are tough comedy critics. One of them once gave me one star... but I'm pretty sure he just meant to draw a smiley face, and he ran out of ink halfway through.
Octopus Laughter
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You ever notice how octopuses laugh? It's like, eight arms flailing around, and you're not sure if they're applauding your joke or if they just got tangled up in their own punchline.
Octopus Hecklers
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Octopuses are the worst hecklers. You'll be up there telling jokes, and all you hear is ink squirting. They're not booing; they're just expressing their artistic disagreement.
Ink Jokes
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I told an ink joke at the octopus comedy night. It was so bad; even the ink refused to come out. It's like the cephalopod version of crickets chirping.
Octopus Improv
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Octopuses are great at improv. You give them a suggestion, and they'll come up with eight different punchlines simultaneously. It's like watching the aquatic version of Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Octopus Comedy Roast
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I got roasted by an octopus once. He said I was so unfunny that even a sea cucumber wouldn't trade jokes with me. Ouch. That's inked deep.
Underwater Comedy Clubs
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I tried doing stand-up at an underwater comedy club once. The audience was all octopuses. I got a standing ovation, but they were already standing, so I guess it was more of a floating ovation.
Octopus Open Mic
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I went to an octopus open mic night. They were so good, I felt like a fish out of water. Literally. I was the only one there who couldn't breathe underwater.
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