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I told my computer I wanted to go to the beach. Now it's got a 'shore' leave scheduled.
Objects and Their Mysterious Lives
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Ever notice how objects seem to have secret lives of their own? Like, you find a random pen in your house and you're thinking, I don't remember buying this. Where did it come from? It's like they're playing a game of hide-and-seek with us, but they're really good at it. I bet right now there's a sock party happening in the washing machine, and they're all celebrating the one that escaped!
The Case of the Missing Object
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I misplaced my glasses the other day. I mean, I'm practically blind without them! It's like my vision has a subscription and it expired the moment those glasses disappeared. I searched high and low, retracing my steps like a detective on a mission. Turns out, they were on my head the whole time. Yeah, apparently, my face has become an optical illusion.
The Legendary Lost Object Quest
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Ever had to find something your significant other misplaced? It's like embarking on a quest from a fantasy novel. Honey, have you seen my keys? They're in the usual spot. The usual spot? Oh, you mean the mystical realm of 'I have no idea where that is.' I swear, if finding lost objects was an Olympic sport, we'd all be gold medalists in frustration.
The Sentient Object Conspiracy
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I swear, sometimes I think objects have a mind of their own. Like, you put your phone down for two seconds, and suddenly it decides it's had enough of being a phone and becomes a ninja, disappearing without a trace. And don't get me started on Tupperware lids—they're like the Houdinis of the kitchen! You find one, and then its partner goes, Nope, not today, and pulls off the vanishing act.
The Tale of the Forgotten Object
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You ever find something in your house that looks like it's been there since the Stone Age? I discovered an object the other day that I swear was last used when dinosaurs roamed the Earth. I mean, forget antiques, this thing's a relic! I'm pretty sure if I tried to sell it, the appraiser would ask, Is this from the Bronze Age or did you just dig this out of your backyard?
Objects and the Time Travel Paradox
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You ever clean out your closet and find something you thought was lost in the Jurassic period? I discovered an object buried deep in there, and I swear it transported me back to the '80s. I held it up and my niece asked, Is that an artifact? Yeah, kiddo, that's an ancient artifact called a cassette tape. You know, the prehistoric Spotify.
Objects and their Identity Crisis
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I have this drawer full of chargers. Chargers for phones I haven't owned in years! I'm convinced they're plotting a rebellion, planning to overthrow the drawer and take over the whole house. I mean, they've got no purpose, but they're holding onto their identity like, Someday, someone's going to need a charger for a phone from 2005, and I'll be here waiting.
Objects and their Drama
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You ever accidentally break something at a friend's place and panic like you've just destroyed the holy grail? I broke a vase once and suddenly it was like a scene from a soap opera. How could you? You were my favorite vase! I had to apologize to it like it was a family member. Lesson learned: objects have feelings too, apparently.
The Mystery Box of Objects
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I have this box in my house filled with random objects I've collected over the years. Every time I open it, it's like a trip down memory lane... if memory lane had a lot of question marks. Seriously, I found something the other day and I'm like, What's this? Is it a decorative paperweight or a mini UFO? Maybe it's the missing piece to a puzzle I never knew I had.
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