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Let's talk about texting. I found an old text message from November 12th, 2018, and it was like opening a time capsule. "Hey, what's up?" Really, past self? That's the best you could come up with? I wish I could reply to my past self and say, "Not much, just avoiding your terrible haircut and regrettable wardrobe choices." It's like texting my past self is a conversation with the ghost of fashion faux pas past. And don't get me started on those emojis; I thought I was being cool, but now I realize I was just one step away from using carrier pigeons for communication.
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You ever notice how technology is like a time machine? I mean, seriously, just the other day, my smartphone took me back to November 12th, 2018. Not the time travel I was hoping for; I was expecting Marty McFly, not old text messages and embarrassing selfies. I look at those photos, and it's like a journey through bad fashion choices and questionable hairstyles. I thought I was stylish back then, but now I realize I was just a walking fashion disaster. Thank you, technology, for reminding me that my sense of style is about as timeless as a fidget spinner.
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Can we talk about calendars for a moment? I mean, who decided that November 12th, 2018, was just going to be a regular day? Why wasn't it marked on the calendar as "Future Regret Day" or "Awkward Family Dinner Night"? It's like the universe missed a golden opportunity to warn us about the impending doom of family gatherings and embarrassing moments. I wish life came with a calendar alert that said, "Hey, on this day, avoid discussing politics with Uncle Bob, and don't eat the mystery casserole." But no, November 12th, 2018, just sneaked up on us like a surprise party we didn't want.
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You ever scroll through your old selfies and think, "Who let me have a camera?" I found a selfie from November 12th, 2018, and I looked like I was auditioning for a low-budget horror movie. I had this serious, brooding expression like I was contemplating the meaning of life, but in reality, I was probably just wondering what to have for lunch. And the filters! I used so many filters; I could've been mistaken for an extra in a sci-fi movie. My past self was like a one-person Instagram filter apocalypse. Note to past self: Less pout, more smiles, and lay off the "vintage" filters; they don't make you look sophisticated; they make you look like you're stuck in a sepia-toned nightmare.
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