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The Dad Who Resents the Minivan
Feeling emasculated by driving a vehicle with sliding doors.
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My friends tried to console me, saying, "It's not the minivan that makes you less of a man." Yeah, tell that to my lawnmower, which now looks at me with disappointment every weekend.
The Minivan Enthusiast
Constantly defending the minivan as the ultimate vehicle.
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I'm proud to be a minivan owner. It's not a midlife crisis; it's a midlife upgrade. Who needs a sports car when you can have automatic sliding doors and a DVD player?
The Overworked Soccer Mom
Trying to keep the minivan clean while shuttling kids everywhere.
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I realized my life was complete the day I successfully vacuumed the entire minivan without losing a single Goldfish cracker.
The Teenager Forced to Drive the Minivan
The embarrassment of being seen in the uncool family minivan.
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Parallel parking a minivan is like trying to fit a giraffe into a clown car. I swear, every time I park, I hear the van whisper, "Really? This is the best you can do?
The Single Friend Observing Minivan Madness
Trying to comprehend the chaos of minivan life when you're used to a sleek, compact car.
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I asked my friend why she got a minivan, and she said, "It's so practical!" Practical? I'm sorry, but I don't consider a vehicle practical if it can fit more people than my last office Christmas party.
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