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Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make liquid assets!
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Why did the billionaire bring a calculator to dinner? He wanted to do some 'divide and conquer'!
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Why was the billionaire always calm? Because he had a million reasons to be!
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Why was the rich man's belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of expensive pants!
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Why did the billionaire bring a piggy bank to work? He wanted to make some 'bacon' on the side!
Million Dollar Memories
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They say your wedding day is priceless, but mine had a price tag of a million dollars. And that was just for the photographer who insisted on capturing every tear, every smile, and every regrettable dance move. I didn't know memories came with such a hefty invoice.
Million Dollar Mornings
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I read somewhere that successful people have a million-dollar morning routine. So, I tried waking up at 5 am, drinking a kale smoothie, and doing yoga. Turns out, my body prefers a million-dollar snooze button and a breakfast burrito in bed. Who knew?
Million Dollar Brain
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I was feeling like a million bucks the other day. Turns out, that's just the feeling you get when you finally remember where you parked your car at the mall. My brain has a net worth of a million neurons, but most of them are just arguing over what to have for lunch.
The Million-Dollar Mystery
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I saw a sign that said, Solve this puzzle, and you could win a million dollars! I thought, great, finally a chance to put my years of binge-watching detective shows to good use. Turns out, the puzzle was just trying to figure out why anyone would give away a million dollars for solving a puzzle.
The Million-Dollar Miracle
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I tried that million-dollar skincare routine everyone's talking about. It promised to make me look ten years younger. Well, it worked! Now I look like I'm in kindergarten, and my bank account is the one crying in the corner.
Million Dollar Diet
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They say money can't buy happiness, but have you tried being sad on a yacht? It's not easy. You know, they also say health is wealth. Well, if that's true, I must be a millionaire because my diet consists of a million different excuses for why I'm not at the gym.
The Million-Dollar Dilemma
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I recently heard someone say, I have a million-dollar smile. Well, that's great, but my bank account has more of a thousand-dollar grimace. Turns out, my dentist and my financial advisor have very different opinions on what constitutes a million-dollar asset.
The Million-Dollar Map
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They say every journey begins with a single step. Well, my journey to find a million dollars began with a single step into quicksand. Turns out, the universe has a twisted sense of humor, and my treasure map led straight to a financial sinkhole.
The Million-Dollar Marriage
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I overheard a couple arguing the other day. The husband said, I thought you said 'I do' for better or for worse. She replied, I didn't sign up for a million dollars in credit card debt! Turns out, marriage is a million-dollar commitment, and I'm just over here trying to find someone willing to commit to splitting the pizza bill.
Million Dollar Misery
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You ever notice how they call it a million-dollar idea? I had one of those once. It was a device that automatically finds your keys, your phone, and your sanity. You know what the million-dollar part was? It never actually worked. I guess the real million-dollar idea is convincing people they need something that doesn't exist.
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