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You ever notice how doctors have the most illegible handwriting? I went to pick up my prescription the other day, and I felt like I was deciphering an ancient scroll. I had to consult Google hieroglyphics to figure out if I was taking antibiotics or preparing for a mummy curse!
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Why do they always weigh you at the doctor's office with all your clothes on? I step on the scale fully dressed, and the nurse looks at the number like, "Oh, that's interesting. Did you know you weigh as much as a baby elephant?" Well, maybe if I took off this winter coat, we'd have a different story!
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My doctor told me I need to get more Vitamin D. So, naturally, I decided to go to the beach. The only problem is, my office chair doesn't have a suntan option, and my computer screen doesn't emit UV rays. I guess I'll just have to settle for the fluorescent glow of my desk lamp.
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Ever notice how waiting rooms at doctors' offices are filled with outdated magazines? I'm pretty sure the last time anyone read those magazines, dial-up internet was still a thing. If you're going to make me wait, at least give me something more recent than a 1998 edition of "National Geographic.
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Hospitals have this unique smell, right? It's a mix of antiseptic, anxiety, and a hint of cafeteria mystery meat. I always wonder if they have a special team of scent designers working on creating that distinct "hospital ambiance." Eau de Emergency Room, anyone?
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Have you ever tried explaining your symptoms to Dr. Google? You type in a couple of symptoms, and suddenly you're convinced you have a rare tropical disease. I went in for a cough and came out thinking I needed a passport and a hazmat suit.
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I love how doctors ask you about your alcohol consumption as if you're a sommelier. "How many units of wine do you consume per week?" I'm like, "Well, if a bottle is one unit, then let's just say I'm a connoisseur.
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Dentists always try to talk to you while their hands are in your mouth. I'm sitting there, trying to respond with a mouthful of dental tools, and they're asking about my weekend plans. It's like a game of charades, but with fluoride and awkward small talk.
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You ever notice how medical professionals have a unique way of making you feel guilty? The nurse says, "You should really exercise more," while I'm sitting there, wondering if lifting the remote control counts as a bicep workout.
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