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You ever hear about this so-called 'bro code'? Supposedly, it's this unwritten set of rules that guys are supposed to follow to maintain the sanctity of their friendships. Well, my male friend claims to be an expert on the 'bro code,' but I think he needs a refresher course. I asked him for a favor, and he says, "Bro, according to the code, I can't say no."
I thought, "Great! Drive me to the airport at 5 AM tomorrow."
He replies, "Oh, that's in the fine print. Bro code only operates between the hours of noon and 9 PM."
Come on, man! What kind of code is that? I need 24/7 support!
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So, my male friend decided to help me move last weekend. I thought, "Great, he's got muscles, he can lift heavy stuff." Well, turns out, he also has a unique interpretation of the word 'help.' I said, "Bro, could you help me carry this couch?"
He looks at it and says, "Nah, it's too heavy. But I can supervise and offer moral support."
Thanks, but I need more than moral support to get this couch up three flights of stairs! I'm thinking of adding a fitness requirement to the friendship application. If you can't deadlift at least your own weight, you're out!
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You ever notice how communication with male friends can be like sending messages to an alien civilization? I texted my buddy the other day, "Hey, let's grab dinner tonight." I get a response after three hours, "Sure, where?"
I reply, "How about that new Italian place downtown?"
Another three hours pass, and he says, "Nah, I had pasta last night."
Really? Did it take you three hours to remember what you ate for dinner yesterday? I love my male friends, but sometimes I think I need a translator to decode their messages.
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You know, having a male friend can be quite a conundrum. I mean, I've got this buddy, right? And he's the kind of guy who always says he's there for you, no matter what. So, I tested him. I called him at 3 AM and said, "Dude, I need your help. I'm stranded, and it's an emergency!" He goes, "Oh man, I got you. Where are you?"
I said, "I'm in the living room, and I can't find the remote. It's a Netflix emergency!"
It turns out, he wasn't as ready for emergencies as he claimed to be. Come on, man, where's that 24/7 commitment when I need it?
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