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You ever notice how life throws these low-hanging problems at us? It's like the universe is playing a game of "Let's see if they can handle this one." But honestly, it's more like the universe is that friend who hands you a bag of groceries and says, "Hold this for a second," then disappears for an hour. So, low-hanging fruits – they're the universe's way of saying, "Hey, let's make sure they're paying attention." You know, like the cherry that's hanging so low on the tree, it practically has a sign that says, "Pick me, I'm desperate!"
But the thing is, life's low-hanging problems are a bit like those fruits – they seem easy, but you reach for them, and suddenly you're in this awkward position, questioning your life choices. It's like the universe is trolling us with its own version of a dad joke.
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I've started setting my expectations so low; they're practically subterranean. That way, when something good happens, it's like a surprise party I didn't know I was attending. I've lowered my expectations so much that if I manage to get through a day without spilling coffee on myself, I feel like I've won an Olympic gold medal. I've embraced the philosophy of "expect the worst, and you'll never be disappointed."
Life's like a fruit tree, and my expectations are those fruits that have already fallen on the ground. At least I won't get disappointed by the fall, right? It's all about that low-hanging optimism.
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New Year's resolutions are like those low-hanging fruits of self-improvement. Everyone starts the year with these grand plans, like, "I'm going to eat healthier, exercise more, and finally learn to play the kazoo." But here's the thing – those resolutions are so low-hanging that by mid-January, they've practically hit the ground. My gym membership card is still lying there, right next to my determination to floss every day.
It's as if the universe is saying, "I'll give you a shot at self-improvement, but let's keep it within arm's reach." Well, universe, mission accomplished. I can touch the resolutions, but can I actually follow through? That's a different story.
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I recently took an IQ test, and let me tell you, it was a humbling experience. You know it's bad when even the low-hanging questions are too high for you. I mean, they asked, "What's the capital of France?" and I'm thinking, "Uh, capital letters exist?" It's like they design those tests to make you feel like the village idiot. The only thing lower than my score was the fruit on the metaphorical intelligence tree. I swear, if the questions were any easier, they’d be asking me to identify colors by taste.
But hey, who needs a high IQ when you can impress people with your ability to tie your shoelaces on the first try, right? I'll take my low-hanging IQ and turn it into a party trick.
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