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Why did the liberal get along with everyone at the party? They were very open-minded!
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What do you get when you cross a liberal and a comedian? A stand-up citizen!
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Why did the liberal bring a ladder to the election? To reach the high voter turnout!
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Why was the liberal always calm during debates? They had a policy of tranquility!
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I tried dating a liberal once. They were so open-minded that they wouldn't even commit to a restaurant for dinner. It was always, 'Let's explore our options,' until we ended up at an avant-garde vegan place that served kale-flavored air.
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My liberal neighbor is so eco-friendly that they compost everything, including our friendship. Last week, I accidentally threw a plastic bottle in their compost bin, and suddenly I was the environmental Antichrist.
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I tried to organize a bipartisan potluck, inviting both liberals and conservatives. The liberals brought gluten-free, dairy-free, cruelty-free, and taste-free dishes. The conservatives brought BBQ, beer, and a deep sense of suspicion about quinoa.
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I asked a liberal friend for financial advice, and they told me to invest in hope. Now, every time I check my bank account, I find myself whispering, 'I hope there's more money in there.'
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I love discussing politics with liberals. It's like trying to untangle Christmas lights - confusing, frustrating, and by the end, someone's always threatening to move to Canada.
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Liberal arts graduates are like unicorns – rare, mystical, and not particularly useful when it comes to fixing my plumbing. 'Sure, I can discuss the historical symbolism of leaking pipes, but actually fixing them? Not my expertise.'
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Liberal Arts Majors, the only people who can passionately debate the societal implications of a coffee stain on their thesis, but can't figure out how to change a flat tire.
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I told my liberal friend I was going to start a compost pile. They were thrilled until I clarified it was just for my collection of failed self-help books. 'Reduce, reuse, and recycle my attempts at self-improvement!' I declared.
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I admire liberals for their commitment to recycling. My liberal friend takes it to a whole new level - he recycled his New Year's resolutions from 2010. Turns out, 'lose weight' and 'save the planet' are timeless classics.
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Being married to a liberal is like trying to agree on a Netflix show. We spend more time scrolling through options than actually watching something. 'How about a documentary on sustainable farming?' I suggested. That night, I dreamt of kale fields and woke up craving bacon.
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