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You know you're an adult when you get excited about buying new kitchen appliances. I recently got a Larson blender. It doesn't just blend, it adds a dramatic twist to your smoothies, like a suspenseful movie plot. "Will the strawberries mix well with the bananas? Stay tuned!
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I think "larson" is the sound your car makes when you're desperately trying to start it on a cold winter morning. "Come on, come on, don't give me that larson, just start!
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I was thinking about the word "larson" the other day. It sounds like the noise your stomach makes when you're trying to sneak a snack in the middle of the night. "Shh, honey, did you hear that larson in the kitchen?" "Nah, just go back to sleep.
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You ever try to spell "larson" backward? It's "nosral." Sounds like a spell from a fantasy novel. "I cast nosral to make my laundry fold itself." If only it were that easy, right?
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I tried googling "larson," and the search results were just pictures of confused cats. Even the internet doesn't know what to do with Larson. It's like the mysterious enigma we never knew we needed in our lives.
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I was at the store the other day, and I saw a sign that said, "Beware of Larson." I thought, "Who's Larson, and why is he lurking around the detergent aisle?" Turns out, he's just the janitor with a mop named Larson. I've never been so disappointed in an ominous sign.
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I asked Siri about Larson, and she said, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that." Yeah, Siri, neither did my ghost writer. Maybe Larson is the one-word password to unlock all the mysteries of the universe.
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I imagine if "larson" were a person, he'd be that friend who always has a conspiracy theory. "Dude, I'm telling you, the real reason behind missing socks is Larson. He's building a sock empire in another dimension.
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You ever notice how the word "larson" has no rhymes? I tried to come up with one, but everything I came up with sounded like a failed attempt at poetry. "Roses are red, violets are blue, Larson is... well, there's nothing that rhymes with Larson.
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