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Kool-Aid Anonymous Support Group Leader
Helping Kool-Aid enthusiasts cope with their addiction
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One member insisted Kool-Aid was the secret to his success. He said, "I drank it before my job interview, and they hired me!" I had to break it to him gently, "I think it was your qualifications, not the tropical punch charisma.
Kool-Aid Scientist in the Lab
Developing a top-secret Kool-Aid flavor without causing a flavor explosion
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The boss wants a flavor that's "mind-blowing." I told him, "We need to be careful; we're making a drink, not inventing time travel. Although, a time-traveling Kool-Aid does sound pretty refreshing.
Kool-Aid Marriage Counselor
Mediating a dispute between a couple over Kool-Aid preferences
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They brought Kool-Aid to the session, and she poured a glass, saying, "This is how I like it—bold and vibrant!" He poured his, saying, "And this is how I like it—mild and laid-back." I suggested, "Maybe meet in the middle with a 'Wild Berry Mediator' flavor.
Kool-Aid Detective on a Crime Scene
Investigating a Kool-Aid spill at a crime scene
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Found a note at the crime scene that said, "I'll be back in a jiffy, just grabbing some cookies." I'm like, "Cookies? This guy commits a Kool-Aid crime and snacks on cookies? We're dealing with a bold, sugary bandit.
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