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Why did Kaitlyn bring a baseball bat to the comedy club? To hit the punchlines out of the park!
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What's Kaitlyn's favorite type of music? Anything with a good 'beet'—she's a vegetable DJ!
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Why did Kaitlyn become a musician? Because she wanted to 'harmonize' her life!
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Why did Kaitlyn become a gardener? Because she wanted to 'grow' through life with a little 'thyme'!
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Why did Kaitlyn bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
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Why did Kaitlyn bring a pencil to the dinner party? In case she wanted to draw attention!
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Why did Kaitlyn bring a mirror to the interview? To reflect on her qualifications!
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Kaitlyn started a bakery, specializing in muffins. When I asked her secret, she said, 'I always rise to the occasion!
Kaitlyn's GPS
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You ever notice how Kaitlyn's GPS has an attitude? It's like, In 500 feet, turn left. If you miss it, well, that's on you, Kaitlyn. I'm not your personal life coach!
Kaitlyn's Thrilling Texts
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I got a text from Kaitlyn that said, We need to talk. My heart started racing, and I called her immediately. She answered, Oh, I just wanted to discuss my new favorite TV show. Spoiler alert: it's not that thrilling.
Kaitlyn's Horror Movie Strategy
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Kaitlyn insists on talking through horror movies to calm her nerves. I told her, Kaitlyn, that's not helping anyone. Now we have a horror movie and a romantic comedy happening simultaneously.
Kaitlyn's Fashion Faux Pas
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Kaitlyn once said, I dress for comfort, not for style. I looked at her oversized sweater and thought, Girl, you look like you're ready to hibernate, not go out for brunch.
Kaitlyn's Gym Excuses
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Kaitlyn said she avoids the gym because it's too crowded. I suggested going at odd hours, and she replied, But that's when they clean the equipment. I don't want to catch the germs. Kaitlyn, that's what the wipes are for!
Kaitlyn's Pet Dilemma
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Kaitlyn told me she got a pet rock because it's low-maintenance. I said, Kaitlyn, even a pet rock needs attention. You can't just leave it in the backyard and expect it to thrive!
Kaitlyn's Kitchen Chronicles
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I went over to Kaitlyn's place, and she asked if I wanted a homemade meal. I said sure, and she handed me a takeout menu. I didn't have the heart to tell her that doesn't count as cooking.
Kaitlyn's Calendar Chaos
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I asked Kaitlyn how she stays organized, and she said, I have a calendar, but I never use it. I just like the satisfaction of crossing out past dates. Kaitlyn, that's not organization—that's time travel without leaving your seat!
Kaitlyn's Coffee Conundrum
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Kaitlyn's the type of person who spends 10 minutes deciding on a coffee order, and then, when it arrives, she goes, Oh, I meant to get tea. Kaitlyn, the barista is not a mind reader!
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