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Why did Justin go to space? He wanted to find out if aliens have a sense of humor – a 'Just-in Time Explorer'!
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Why did Justin bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
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Did you hear about Justin's bakery? It's making a lot of dough, but he kneads the money!
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Did you hear about Justin's workout routine? He lifts the spirits, not weights!
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Why did Justin take a ladder to the comedy show? He heard the jokes were on a higher level!
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Why did Justin become a beekeeper? He wanted to be surrounded by the 'buzz' of laughter!
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What's Justin's favorite board game? 'Clue' – because life's a mystery he's trying to solve!
Justin's GPS Adventures
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I swear, Justin should be the voice of GPS systems. You miss a turn, and he's like, Recalculating... you've messed up again. I'm convinced he has a side gig as a life navigator, but only for those who enjoy taking the scenic route through chaos.
Justin's Party Etiquette
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At parties, Justin's the guy who walks in and immediately makes himself at home. He raided my fridge, kicked his feet up on the coffee table, and said, Nice place you got here. I'm thinking, Justin, this is my house, not your personal comedy club.
The Justin Principle
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You ever notice how Justin always has an opinion on everything? You could be talking about quantum physics, and he'll chime in with, Well, from my experience with microwaving burritos... It's called the Justin Principle: the theory that no matter the topic, Justin has a story about it.
The Justin Conundrum
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You ever have that friend, Justin, who's always giving you mixed signals? One day he's all like, Let's hang out, I miss you, and the next day he's dodging your calls like a ninja in a rom-com. I don't get it. Is he Justindecisive or just plain Justinconsiderate?
Justin and the Microwave
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I have a buddy named Justin who thinks he's a culinary genius. He's like, I can make a gourmet meal in minutes! Meanwhile, he's burning popcorn in the microwave. I told him, Justin, if popcorn had a fire alarm, it would've called 911 by now.
Justin's Bucket List
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So, Justin shared his bucket list with me the other day. It's just one item: Learn how to fold a fitted sheet. I told him, Justin, that's not a bucket list; that's a cry for help.
Justin Time
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You ever notice how life is like a bad stand-up show? Just when you think everything's falling apart, in walks Justin, like some comedic superhero. I swear, if chaos had a best friend, it would be Justin. He's never early, never late, he's always Justin time.
Justin and Technology
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Justin and technology are like oil and water. I showed him how to use a new app, and he stared at his phone like it was an alien artifact. I said, Justin, it's not a Rubik's Cube; it's just Tinder. Swipe right if you like, left if you don't. It's not rocket science, it's thumb science.
Justin's Fashion Sense
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I asked Justin about his fashion sense, and he said, I'm going for the 'just rolled out of bed' look. I told him, Justin, that look is so last season. It's time to upgrade to the 'just rolled out of a luxury yacht in Monaco' look.
Justin's Life Philosophy
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Justin told me his life philosophy is to take things one day at a time. I said, Justin, that's everyone's philosophy. The trick is to take them in the right order. He nodded like I just shared the secrets of the universe. Oh, Justin, you philosophical genius, you.
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