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The Time-Traveling Barber
Constantly worries about accidentally giving clients historical hairstyles
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Someone asked for a retro look, so I gave them a Neanderthal hairstyle. Now they're roaming the streets like, "Uggh, me like the new 'do." I just hope I didn't accidentally kickstart the caveman chic trend.
The Conspiracy Theorist Dentist
Believes that dental floss is a government surveillance tool
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Imagine if cavities are just government microchips they implant during routine dental work. That explains the drilling sound – it's not fixing teeth; it's installing the latest government update!
The Paranormal Fitness Trainer
Believes ghosts are critiquing their workout routine
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My dumbbells mysteriously move around when I'm not looking. I think the ghosts are saying, "Come on, lift more! We can bench more in the afterlife. What's your excuse?
The Overly Attached GPS
Thinks the driver is cheating on it with paper maps
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If my GPS could talk, it would be like, "You used to listen to me so attentively. Now you're flirting with MapQuest. Is this because I mispronounced the street name once? I can change, baby!
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