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I found out this Indian chief is a bit of a critic. He's on Yelp, leaving reviews for all the local businesses. "Three out of five buffalo for the hunting grounds. Too many tourists, not enough game." And the local restaurant? "Two out of five teepees. The bison burger was dry, and they forgot the dreamcatcher garnish." I'm just waiting for him to start a blog: "Chief's Choice - The Best and Worst of the Tribal Scene.
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So, I'm talking to this Indian chief, and he starts telling me about the struggles of modern life. He says, "Running Buffalo and Charging Bear are now just apps on my smartphone!" I couldn't believe it! I mean, what's next? Tribal Council meetings on Zoom? "Hey, Chief, can you hear me? I think your Wi-Fi is acting up!
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You guys ever wonder what casual Friday would look like in an Indian tribe? So, I asked the chief about it, and he goes, "Oh, you mean the day we don't wear headdresses? Yeah, that's every day. Feathers are so last season." I'm thinking, "Wow, the original hipsters, embracing minimalism before it was cool.
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You know, I recently had the chance to meet an Indian chief. Yeah, a real-life chief! And let me tell you, I was expecting some profound, ancient wisdom, like a tribal Yoda or something. But no, this chief, he looks at me and says, "To make fire, use matches. Much easier than rubbing sticks." I'm thinking, "Really, Chief? That's your ancient tribal secret? I've been doing it wrong my whole life!
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