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Why did the scarecrow become a successful rancher in Texas? He was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the cowboy adopt a dog in Texas? Because he wanted a loyal Tex-paw-rter!
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Why do cows in Texas make great musicians? Because they have outstanding moo-sical talent!
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How do Texans keep their hair in place during a tornado? They use a Lone Star comb!
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Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund in Texas? He wanted to get a long, little doggie!
In Texas
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I discovered that cowboy boots are like the official footwear of Texas. I tried wearing a pair, and suddenly I felt the urge to yeehaw and tip my imaginary hat at strangers. Those boots have magical powers – turn you into a rootin' tootin' Texan in seconds.
In Texas
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I attended a Texas barbecue, and they had so much meat; even the vegetarians were considering a career change. I asked for a veggie burger, and they handed me a grilled mushroom the size of a Texas steak. It was so big; I had to eat it like a watermelon.
In Texas
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Alright, so I heard everything's bigger in Texas, right? I went there, ordered a small coffee, and they handed me a bucket! I was like, Is this a drink or a swimming pool for ants?
In Texas
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You know you're in Texas when you ask for salsa, and they bring you a bowl of liquid fire. I took one bite and felt like I had accidentally entered a dragon-eating contest. Note to self: Milk is your friend in Texas.
In Texas
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Texas has some unique wildlife. I saw a spider so big; it had its own zip code. I tried to be brave and confront it, but it looked at me like, You think you're tough? I'm from Texas, buddy!
In Texas
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I learned that Texas weather is as unpredictable as a cat on a skateboard. One day, it's hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna, and the next day, it's colder than a snowman's handshake. Texas, make up your mind – are you a desert or a winter wonderland?
In Texas
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You know, they say Texas has two seasons: hot and hotter. I visited in the summer, and I swear I saw a cactus begging for water. I offered it a sip from my Texas-sized coffee, and it looked at me like, You call this hydration?
In Texas
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I love the friendliness in Texas, but they take it to the next level. I asked for directions, and the guy not only told me how to get there but also invited me for a barbecue at his place. I just wanted to find the nearest gas station, not become a part of the family!
In Texas
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You ever notice how everything is Texas-sized there? I asked for a Texas-sized steak, and they brought me a cow with a fork and knife stuck in it. I said, I ordered a steak, not a DIY butchering kit!
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