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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. I'll see myself out.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up. I'll see myself out.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. I'll see myself out.
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Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired. I'll see myself out.
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Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one. I'll see myself out.
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Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. I'll see myself out.
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field. I'll see myself out.
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I went to a job interview, and when I asked about the salary, the interviewer said, 'I'll see myself out.' Apparently, asking for a decent paycheck is a career-limiting move. Maybe I should start a GoFundMe for my employment prospects.
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I tried to make a salad the other day, and the lettuce literally walked out of my kitchen. I guess it wanted to leaf before I drowned it in dressing. I thought only my jokes were that bad.
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I tried to impress my date with a magic trick, and when I asked her to pick a card, she said, 'I'll see myself out.' Turns out, my deck of cards is also a dating deal-breaker. Who knew magic wasn't a universally loved skill?
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I told my friend a joke, and he just left without saying anything. I guess my humor is so bad it's now a friendship repellent. I should start handing out apology cards with punchlines.
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I told my cat a joke, and it just stared at me before walking away. I guess even my pet thinks my sense of humor is litter-ally terrible. I'm getting ghosted by my own furball.
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I called customer service, and after explaining my issue, the representative said, 'I'll see myself out.' I didn't realize my problems were so bad, even the hotline can't handle them. I thought they were supposed to fix things, not bail!
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I suggested a movie night to my family, and they all sighed and said, 'I'll see myself out.' Apparently, my film choices are on par with a cinematic walk of shame. Maybe I'll stick to documentaries about plants from now on.
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I tried to organize a game night, and when I brought out the board games, my friends collectively groaned and said, 'I'll see myself out.' I guess Monopoly is the real friendship destroyer. Forget hotels on Boardwalk; it's the emotional toll that bankrupts us all.
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My GPS has started giving me attitude. I asked it for directions, and it responded, 'I'll see myself out.' Great, now even my technology is roasting me. I didn't know Siri had a stand-up career.
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