18 Jokes For I'll See Myself Out

Puns

Updated on: Aug 30 2024

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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. I'll see myself out.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up. I'll see myself out.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. I'll see myself out.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta. I'll show myself out.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired. I'll see myself out.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one. I'll see myself out.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. I'll see myself out.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field. I'll see myself out.
I went to a job interview, and when I asked about the salary, the interviewer said, 'I'll see myself out.' Apparently, asking for a decent paycheck is a career-limiting move. Maybe I should start a GoFundMe for my employment prospects.
I tried to make a salad the other day, and the lettuce literally walked out of my kitchen. I guess it wanted to leaf before I drowned it in dressing. I thought only my jokes were that bad.
I tried to impress my date with a magic trick, and when I asked her to pick a card, she said, 'I'll see myself out.' Turns out, my deck of cards is also a dating deal-breaker. Who knew magic wasn't a universally loved skill?
I told my friend a joke, and he just left without saying anything. I guess my humor is so bad it's now a friendship repellent. I should start handing out apology cards with punchlines.
I told my cat a joke, and it just stared at me before walking away. I guess even my pet thinks my sense of humor is litter-ally terrible. I'm getting ghosted by my own furball.
I called customer service, and after explaining my issue, the representative said, 'I'll see myself out.' I didn't realize my problems were so bad, even the hotline can't handle them. I thought they were supposed to fix things, not bail!
I suggested a movie night to my family, and they all sighed and said, 'I'll see myself out.' Apparently, my film choices are on par with a cinematic walk of shame. Maybe I'll stick to documentaries about plants from now on.
I tried to organize a game night, and when I brought out the board games, my friends collectively groaned and said, 'I'll see myself out.' I guess Monopoly is the real friendship destroyer. Forget hotels on Boardwalk; it's the emotional toll that bankrupts us all.
My GPS has started giving me attitude. I asked it for directions, and it responded, 'I'll see myself out.' Great, now even my technology is roasting me. I didn't know Siri had a stand-up career.
I ordered takeout, and when the delivery guy handed me the bag, he whispered, 'I'll see myself out.' I hope he wasn't trying to tell me something about my cooking skills. Maybe it's time to invest in some culinary self-help books.

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Nov 23 2024

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