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The Wampa's Therapist
Dealing with misunderstood anger issues
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The Wampa is into meditation now. He sits there, eyes closed, deep breathing. I asked him how it's going. He said, "Well, I haven't attacked anyone in a week. But I did freeze a pizza with my breath. It's a work in progress.
Hoth Wildlife Photographer
Capturing the beauty of ice while avoiding becoming Wampa food
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I tried capturing the grace of a Tauntaun once. It was running through the snow, majestic and all. Then it slipped on ice and crashed into my camera. I call it "Tauntaun: The Graceful Blooper.
Rebel Soldier on Hoth
Survival strategies in extreme cold conditions
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Surviving on Hoth is tough. We're rationing everything. I told my friend, "I've got a date tonight. Can I borrow your cologne?" He handed me a bottle of Tauntaun guts. Now I smell like a mix of desperation and intergalactic roadkill.
Imperial Snowtrooper
The struggles of wearing the iconic armor in extreme cold
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Our helmets fog up all the time. I told my fellow Snowtrooper, "It's like a sauna in here." He replied, "Yeah, if the sauna tried to kill you every time you took a step.
Hoth Tour Guide Droid
Trying to keep tourists interested in a freezing wasteland
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Trying to impress tourists, I told them about our unique wildlife. One guy asked, "What's that creature over there?" I said, "Oh, that's a Wampa. Very friendly, especially if you're into ice-breaking conversations.
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