18 Jokes About Hosts

Puns

Updated on: Aug 18 2024

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Why did the host computer go to therapy? It had too many unresolved issues!
Why did the web host get tired at the party? It had too many download requests – it needed a server break!
What did the web host say to the guest who asked for the Wi-Fi password? 'Sorry, that information is encrypted – you'll have to crack the code!'
Why did the server host throw a great party? Because it had a fantastic bandwidth!
Why did the web host go to school? To improve its IP address!
Why did the computer host file a police report? Because its memory was stolen!
Why was the host embarrassed? Because it forgot the Wi-Fi password at its own party!
How did the web host entertain its guests? With some good old-fashioned bandwidth music!

Ghost Hosts: The Ultimate Airbnb Experience

I tried Airbnb for the first time, and the hosts were so hospitable that they didn't even let death get in the way. They're what I like to call ghost hosts. The welcome note said, Help yourself to the fridge, but beware of the ectoplasmic leftovers. I mean, who needs complimentary breakfast when you've got transparent hosts?

Poltergeist Pranks

My friends decided to play a prank on me by hiring a poltergeist for my birthday. I came home, and things were flying around the room. I said, Joke's on you, I live with ghosts every day – this is just another Tuesday! I'm pretty sure the poltergeist felt upstaged by my spectral roommates.

Ghostbusters on Speed Dial

I've got ghosts in my house, and I'm thinking of calling the Ghostbusters. But then I remembered it's 2023, and they probably retired to Florida or something. So now, instead of proton packs, they're armed with canes, and their catchphrase is, I ain't afraid of no ghosts, but my sciatica is acting up again!

Haunted Hotel Reviews

I booked a stay at a haunted hotel, thinking it would be a unique experience. The TripAdvisor reviews were right – it's a ghostly getaway! Although, the bed was so uncomfortable that I considered sleeping on the ceiling like a ghost, just to avoid the springs poking me. Three stars for the ghosts, one star for the mattress.

Haunted Housekeeping Woes

I asked my ghost to help with housekeeping – you know, maybe dust the shelves or vacuum the ectoplasm. But no, it turns out ghosts are not into chores. I told my ghost, At least slam a few doors dramatically – that's easy and adds to the haunted ambiance! Lazy ghosts, always haunting but never helping.

When Ghosts Become Room Service

I ordered takeout the other night, and the delivery guy was a ghost. I didn't even notice until he handed me the food, and it just floated there. I said, Dude, I ordered Pad Thai, not paranormal activity! Now, my Yelp review reads, Great food, questionable delivery service – they really take the term 'ghost kitchen' seriously.

Hosts with the Most Ghosts

You know, I recently moved into a new apartment, and the landlord failed to mention that I have some unexpected roommates. I call them my hosts with the most ghosts. Apparently, it's a haunted place, but I figured, hey, at least I'm never alone. It's like having spectral roommates who never do the dishes, but also never pay rent.

The Ghost Whisperer's Unwanted Advice

I hired a ghost whisperer to communicate with the spirits in my house. The first thing the ghost whisperer said was, You've got a ghost who thinks your taste in music is hauntingly bad. I thought, Great, even in the afterlife, they're critiquing my playlist. I hope they at least appreciate my killer dance moves.

Ghost Therapy: Casper Edition

I decided to see a therapist to discuss my fear of ghosts. Turns out, my therapist is a ghost. It's like getting advice from Casper the Friendly Ghost. He said, Just embrace the spirits around you. I thought, Easy for you to say, Casper, you're not the one waking up to ghostly whispers saying, 'You should have worn matching socks today.'

Haunted House Party Etiquette

I attended a haunted house party recently. It was all fun and games until a ghost complained that I was stealing its spotlight. I didn't know ghosts could be divas. I apologized and told it, Look, I'm just here for the BOOze and the ghostly good time, not to steal your ethereal thunder. Talk about a ghost with a drama degree!

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