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Joke Types
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Why was the hilaw na prutas always calm? Because it knew how to stay smooth!
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Why did the hilaw na prutas become a detective? It wanted to find the missing 'pulp'rit!
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Why did the hilaw na prutas go to school? Because it wanted to become a little more a-peeling!
Melon Meltdown
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Watermelons are deceptive. You see this massive green sphere, and you think, This is going to be the highlight of my summer. You start cutting into it, and it's like entering a watermelon crime scene. Seeds flying everywhere, juice dripping down your elbows—it's chaos! They need to come with a warning label: Caution: Consuming may lead to a messy kitchen and potential slip-and-fall incidents.
Avocado Avant-Garde
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Let's discuss avocados, shall we? They're like the James Bond of fruits. Always dressed in green, a little mysterious, and you're never quite sure when they're ready for action. You gently squeeze them, hoping for the perfect ripeness, and suddenly you've got guacamole on your hands—literally. Avocados are so high-maintenance; they should come with a disclaimer: Handle with care or prepare to embrace the green gooey consequences.
Berry Blues
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Berries are the tiny divas of the fruit family. You buy a punnet, thinking they'll behave, and the next day, they've turned into a mushy, fuzzy mess. It's like they're on a mission to break your heart and your budget simultaneously. Berries are the rebels of the fruit world, defying your expectations and leaving you with a fridge full of regret.
Apple Antics
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Apples are the safe choice, right? Wrong. You'd think they're straightforward, but then you bite into one, and it's like a surprise party in your mouth—except the surprise is more of a dental emergency. You ever notice how apples are either too soft or too hard? It's like they can't find the middle ground. I swear, apples are the overachievers of the fruit bowl, constantly trying to keep you on your toes.
The Grape Escape
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Grapes are like the Houdinis of the fruit bowl. One minute you have a bunch, and the next, they've vanished into thin air. It's like they have a secret pact to commit disappearing acts. You open the fridge thinking, I'm going to enjoy some grapes, and they're gone! I suspect there's a grape underworld conspiracy, and they're all having a party in someone else's refrigerator.
Pineapple Perils
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Pineapples are nature's way of testing your commitment. You see them in the store, all spiky and intimidating, and you think, Challenge accepted. Then you bring one home and realize it's a battle of epic proportions. It's like trying to dismantle a medieval fortress, but with more juice and less armor. Pineapples are the original tough love relationship—sharp on the outside, sweet on the inside, and a potential hazard to your fingers.
Fruity Confessions
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I tried to be healthy once and bought a bunch of exotic fruits. I got home, stared at them, and realized I had no idea how to eat half of them. I mean, dragon fruit? What am I supposed to do with that? It looks like it's from another planet. I felt like I needed a fruit decoder or a secret society initiation manual. I even googled, How to approach a dragon fruit without getting roasted. Spoiler alert: it didn't help.
Fruit Faux Pas
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You ever notice how buying fruit is like playing a risky game? I mean, you see this beautifully arranged display of fruits at the grocery store, and they all look so tempting. But deep down, you know it's a gamble. It's like a box of chocolates, except with more surprises. You bring home what looks like a ripe, juicy mango, and it turns out to be as hard as a rock. You're just left there questioning your life choices like, Am I supposed to wrestle this thing into submission or make a mango-themed paperweight?
Banana Drama
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Let's talk about bananas. They're like the divas of the fruit world. One day they're green, and you think you have time. The next day, they're yellow, and you're like, Alright, let's do this! But, no! The day after, they're covered in those weird brown spots, and you're left wondering if your kitchen has secretly become a time machine. I swear, bananas have commitment issues. It's like they're saying, You thought we were a snack? Nah, we're a fruit-based emotional rollercoaster.
Citrus Showdown
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Citrus fruits are like the drama queens of the fruit bowl. Oranges, lemons, and limes—they all have that intense citrus attitude. You start peeling an orange, thinking it's going to be a peaceful snack, and suddenly, citrus juice squirts you in the eye like it's auditioning for a role in a slapstick comedy. It's like they're saying, You thought you were just having a snack? Think again. Welcome to the citrus circus.
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