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I've noticed that in Hallmark movies, the characters are constantly baking cookies. Meanwhile, I burned a batch of pre-made dough the other day. The smoke alarm is still traumatized.
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Hallmark movies make it seem like everyone has the perfect Christmas tree. I went to pick out a tree, and it looked like it had been through a battle with a pack of angry squirrels. It's now proudly displayed in my living room, leaning like the Tower of Pisa.
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You know you're watching a Hallmark movie when the characters have a meet-cute moment, and you can predict the entire plot from that one interaction. In my life, the closest thing to a meet-cute is accidentally bumping into someone at the grocery store and both of us pretending it didn't happen.
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Have you ever noticed that in every Hallmark movie, there's a small town with an absurdly high number of attractive single people? I want to move to that town! My current neighborhood is like a casting call for a potato commercial.
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I love how in Hallmark movies, it's always snowing during Christmas. Meanwhile, where I live, it's more like a tropical paradise during the holidays. Nothing says "festive" like sunscreen and a piña colada, right?
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Hallmark movies have this magical ability to make you believe that a small business owner in a quaint town can afford a huge Victorian house and never has to worry about customers. Meanwhile, I'm over here debating whether I should buy a coffee or save up for retirement.
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In Hallmark movies, there's always a charming older character who gives sage advice about love and life. In real life, my grandma's advice is more like, "Just find someone who can fix the leaky faucet and doesn't mind your weird laugh.
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Hallmark movies love a good holiday festival. I tried attending a local festival, and all I got was a questionable gyro from a food truck and a sudden desire to reevaluate my life choices.
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Hallmark movies teach us that if you go back to your hometown, you'll inevitably run into your high school sweetheart. I went back to my hometown and ran into my high school math teacher. It was less romantic and more traumatic flashbacks to algebra.
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