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The Leftover Cranberry Sauce
Dealing with rejection
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I tried speed dating with the other leftovers, but even the stuffing rejected me. It said, "Sorry, we're just not compatible." I guess I'm too saucy for my own good.
The Thanksgiving Vegetarian Dish
Being the odd one out
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The worst part is when people say, "You must feel left out on Thanksgiving." Yeah, I do. Left out of the turkey coma everyone else is in. I'm wide awake, thinking about how I'm the healthiest thing on the table.
The Thanksgiving Turkey
Feeling unappreciated
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People say, "Oh, you're the center of attention on Thanksgiving!" Yeah, I'm the center of attention until the main course is over, and suddenly I'm just a pile of leftovers in the fridge. Talk about a fall from grace.
The Thanksgiving Grandma
Technological generation gap
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They asked me to send them a text. I said, "Sure, sweetie. Do I just put the note under my pillow, and the text fairy delivers it?" I'm still trying to figure out how emojis became a language. Is there an emoji for "Where's the cranberry sauce?
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