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You know what's ironic? People who are gifted at everything but gratitude. I have this friend who's a human calculator. You throw numbers at him, and he instantly gives you the answer. But when I asked him to calculate how many times he said "thank you" in a week, he needed a moment to process. I tried to be supportive and said, "You're gifted, man! Embrace it!" And he goes, "Yeah, but being gifted doesn't pay the bills." I told him, "Well, neither does being ungrateful, but here we are."
It's like the universe gave him a special skillset, and he's treating it like a participation trophy. I can barely find my keys half the time, and this guy is complaining about having too much talent. Maybe I should gift him a reality check.
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I envy people who are gifted because they seem to have life all figured out. But then you realize they're just as clueless as the rest of us when it comes to certain things. I have this friend who's a computer genius, can code in multiple languages, and can fix any tech issue. But ask him to put together a piece of IKEA furniture, and suddenly he's more lost than a penguin in the Sahara.
I handed him the instruction manual, and he looked at it like it was written in hieroglyphics. I said, "Dude, it's just a bookshelf, not a quantum physics equation." He responded, "I'd rather debug a faulty algorithm than assemble this."
So, turns out being gifted in one area doesn't come with a universal instruction manual for life. Who knew?
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You ever meet those people who are just gifted at everything? I mean, they're the ones who aced every test in school, effortlessly excel at sports, and probably even sneeze in perfect harmony. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just here trying not to trip over our own shoelaces. I recently met this guy who's so gifted that he can tie a knot with a cherry stem using only his tongue. I tried it, and I swear I ended up creating a new form of abstract art with that cherry stem. It looked like a spaghetti monster had a meltdown on my table.
And then there's the gifted friend who can solve a Rubik's Cube blindfolded. I can barely solve it with both eyes open! I attempted it once, and after an hour of twisting and turning, I just gave up and peeled off the stickers. It's not cheating; it's strategic improvisation.
Being gifted is like playing a video game with cheat codes. Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck in the tutorial level, desperately trying to figure out how to jump without face-planting into a pit of existential dread.
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Being gifted isn't all rainbows and unicorns; it comes with its own set of unique problems. I have this friend who's a gifted musician. He can play any instrument you hand him, but he can't escape the curse of being asked to play "Wonderwall" at every social gathering. He told me, "I can play Beethoven, Mozart, and Bach, but people only want to hear Oasis. It's like having a culinary master chef who's only asked to make instant noodles."
And then there's the gifted athlete who's expected to perform miracles every time there's a pickup game. I can barely throw a ball without hitting my own foot, and here's this guy doing backflips just to pass the salt during dinner.
So, the next time you envy someone for being gifted, just remember, they're dealing with their own set of first-world problems. It's like having a Ferrari and complaining about the color of the leather seats. Gifted problems, am I right?
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