17 Getting A Woman's Attention Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Apr 22 2025

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Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange!
Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
How do you organize a space party? You planet!

Winging It: The Art of Picking Up Signals

Trying to pick up signals from a woman is like playing charades, but instead of guessing the word, you're trying to decipher if she's into you or just allergic to something in the room. Spoiler alert: I'm still trying to figure out if that one girl was sneezing or winking.

Flirting 101: A Crash Course in Morse Code

I tried to impress a girl once by blinking in Morse code across the room. Turns out, she thought I had something stuck in my eye. So, note to self: subtlety is key, and Morse code is better left for Navy SEALs.

The Art of Chivalry in the Age of Online Shopping

I held the door open for a woman, and she looked at me like I just offered her a Blockbuster membership. Chivalry might be dead, but apparently, it's not even available for streaming.

The Curse of the Awkward Compliment

Complimenting someone is a fine art, like sculpting a Michelangelo masterpiece with words. My attempt, however, sounded more like a ransom note: Your smile is worth at least three goats and a lifetime supply of avocados. Smooth, right?

Dating Apps and the Illusion of Choice

In the world of dating apps, it feels like trying to pick a movie on Netflix - endless scrolling, and you end up settling for something you're not entirely sure about. Swipe right, swipe left... and suddenly, you've ordered the romantic comedy equivalent of a bad takeout date.

The Perils of Misinterpreting Body Language

I once thought a woman was flirting with me because she touched my arm. Turns out, she was just swatting away a mosquito. My love life is like a nature documentary - full of unexpected twists, and most of the time, I'm just trying not to get bitten.

The Language of Flowers and the Confusion It Creates

They say flowers speak louder than words, but apparently, my bouquet of daisies said, I enjoy moderate sunlight and well-drained soil. Romantic, right? Maybe next time, I'll just attach a Hallmark card that says, I like you. Let's make awkward small talk.

The Playlist Conundrum

I thought making a playlist to express my feelings was a great idea until I realized Stalker's Serenade and Love in the Time of Restraining Orders weren't the hits I thought they were. Note to self: mixtapes are so last century.

The Casual Stroll vs. the Power Strut

They say confidence is attractive, so I decided to master the power strut. Unfortunately, my attempt to exude confidence looked more like a penguin trying to breakdance. Lesson learned: stick to the casual stroll; it's less likely to end in a faceplant.

Unlocking the Mysteries of 'Getting a Woman's Attention

You know, getting a woman's attention is like trying to find the TV remote - you think you know where it is, but it's never where you left it! And just like the remote, sometimes it's wedged between the cushions of your comfort zone.

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