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Subway Employee
Dealing with customers and their footlong preferences
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Customer: "Can I get a footlong without pickles?" Me: "Sure thing, because apparently, pickles are the deal-breaker in your relationship with sandwiches.
Health Nut
Trying to stay healthy while enjoying a footlong
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I tried ordering a footlong with all the veggies to make it healthier. The sandwich artist looked at me like I'd just asked for a unicorn on rye. Apparently, veggies and footlongs are a rare combination.
Competitive Eater
Balancing the love for competitions and the consequences of devouring a footlong
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You know you're a competitive eater when someone asks if you want a footlong, and your first thought is, "Can I get that in a smaller size? Like maybe an appetizer portion?
Stand-up Comedian
Finding new material that isn't just another footlong joke
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I tried a non-footlong joke once, and someone in the audience yelled, "Bring back the footlong jokes!" It's like my comedy career is held together by a piece of bread and a dream.
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