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Candle Shop Owner
Trying to convince customers that their candles won't burn down the house
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I overheard a couple arguing in the shop. The wife said, "Candles are a fire hazard." The husband replied, "So is your cooking, but we still eat it." I thought, "Well, at least my candles won't set off the smoke alarm.
Pyromaniac's Therapist
Trying to keep the therapy session from getting too heated
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One client told me, "Doc, my life is a dumpster fire." I said, "Well, let's work on making it more of a controlled burn, shall we? We don't want any emotional wildfires spreading to the neighbor's yard.
Chef at a Spicy Restaurant
Finding the right balance between flavorful and flamin' hot
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My signature dish is so hot; it comes with a waiver. I told a customer, "You might want to sign this before taking a bite. I don't want any lawsuits; I just want you to enjoy your meal and maybe discover a new appreciation for fire safety.
Dragon's Therapist
Helping a dragon manage anger issues without setting the office on fire
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Imagine trying to teach a dragon coping mechanisms. I suggested mindfulness meditation, and the dragon said, "I tried, but every time I close my eyes, I see knights and castles in flames." I said, "Well, let's work on redirecting that mental imagery, shall we? Maybe think of a nice, calm lake instead.
Firefighter at a BBQ
Balancing the flames at work and at the grill
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My wife told me I have a flamin' hot temper sometimes. I said, "Well, honey, it's a hazard of the job. You try dealing with both a blazing inferno and Uncle Bob's burnt sausages at the same time without losing your cool.
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