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I recently tried my hand at home improvement because, you know, I'm a responsible adult who owns a toolbox. But here's the thing: I realized I have no idea what I'm doing. I mean, I've got this toolbox that's been collecting dust, and I finally decided, "I'm fixin' to fix stuff." So, I open the toolbox, and I'm staring at all these tools. I pick up a screwdriver and think, "This looks simple enough." I start wandering around the house, looking for things to fix. My chair squeaks? No problem, screwdriver to the rescue! My bookshelf wobbles? Bam, screwdriver magic!
But then I hit a wall. I'm standing in the kitchen, and I'm like, "What can I fix in here?" I look at the toaster. It's not broken, but it could use a little pizzazz, right? So, I take out the screwdriver, and now my toaster has more screws than my life!
I realize I might not be the best handyman, but at least I'm fixin' things, even if they weren't broken in the first place. Maybe I should start a new trend: preventative fixing. You know, fix things before they break, just to keep life interesting.
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You know, I recently moved to the South, and I quickly learned that "fixin'" is a big deal down here. People are always "fixin'" to do something. I thought it was just a polite way of saying they were about to do it, but it turns out, it's a whole lifestyle. I asked my neighbor, "Hey, when are you gonna mow your lawn?" He looks at me dead serious and says, "Oh, I'm fixin' to do that." Now, in my world, fixing something means it's broken, right? So, I'm thinking, "What happened to your lawn mower, man? Did it break down? Is it in lawn mower ER?"
And then I realized, in the South, "fixin'" is like the pregame to everything. You're not doing it yet, but you're mentally preparing. It's the Southern way of saying, "I'm getting ready to get ready."
So now, when someone tells me they're fixin' to do something, I just imagine them in their superhero costume, standing there with a tool belt, ready to tackle whatever task lies ahead. It's like, "Look out, world! Captain Fix-It is on the way!
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Being in a relationship in the South is a whole different ball game. When there's a problem, people down here are fixin' to have a talk. Not an argument, not a confrontation, a talk. It's all about being civil and polite, even when you're on the brink of relationship disaster. So, we sit down for this "talk," and I'm thinking it's going to be like a therapy session. But no, it's more like a Fixin' to Fix Your Relationship 101. We take turns saying what's on our minds, using phrases like, "I was fixin' to mention that," or "I'm fixin' to work on being a better listener."
And the ultimate Southern relationship fixer? Sweet tea. I swear, nothing smooths over a disagreement faster than a glass of sweet tea. It's like the nectar of reconciliation.
So, if you're ever in a relationship crisis, just remember: fixin' to have a talk and sweet tea can solve almost anything. It's the Southern way.
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I've been telling myself for years that I'm fixin' to fix my diet. Every Monday, it's like, "This is it. This week, I'm eating healthy." But then Tuesday comes around, and I find myself fixin' to order that extra-large pizza. It's a vicious cycle of fixing and unfixing. I even tried one of those meal prep services. You know the ones where they send you all the ingredients, and you just have to put it together? Sounds easy, right? Well, I'm standing in my kitchen, looking at a box of vegetables, and I realize I'm fixin' to fix a salad. A salad! I don't even like salads. I'm not fixin' to eat a salad; I'm fixin' to order takeout.
And don't get me started on the gym. I joined a gym once, all motivated, telling myself I'm fixin' to get fit. But you know what? The only thing I ended up fixing at the gym was the vending machine because I needed a snack after my intense 5-minute workout.
So, here I am, fixin' to fix my diet, fixin' to fix my fitness, but in reality, I'm just fixing to make excuses.
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