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The Stand-Up Comedian
Joking about the fetal position seems like a good idea until you realize the audience might be picturing you curled up on stage.
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I thought my jokes were groundbreaking until someone asked if my delivery was inspired by the fetal position. Apparently, I've been unintentionally practicing stand-up in my sleep.
The Yoga Enthusiast
Achieving the fetal position in yoga class is easy, but it's a whole different story when you're not on a mat.
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Yoga class prepared me for the fetal position. Life prepared me for the awkward moment when you try to replicate that in a non-yoga setting, like the office chair during a long meeting.
The Parent
Teaching kids about the fetal position for safety can backfire when they start using it as an excuse for everything.
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Parenting tip: Be careful what you teach your kids. My child's interpretation of the fetal position safety drill is now their default strategy for avoiding chores.
The Sleep Expert
The fetal position is the best sleep position, but waking up in it can be awkward.
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The fetal position is like the VIP section of sleep. The only problem is, waking up in that position, I feel like I'm trying to sneak out of a very compact nightclub without waking the bouncer.
The Paranormal Investigator
Waking up in the fetal position can make you question if there's a ghostly presence in your bed.
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I tried sleeping without the fetal position once. Let's just say, waking up in a different position felt like I had a paranormal intruder rearranging my sleep furniture.
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