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Festivals are the only place where spending $15 on a lemonade in a mason jar seems reasonable. I can't even find my regular glasses at home, and here I am, sipping artisanal beverages from a glorified cup.
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The music at festivals is so loud that even my inner thoughts need earplugs. I'm trying to contemplate the meaning of life, and all I hear is a bass drop telling me to dance.
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Going to a festival is the only time it's socially acceptable to eat a gigantic turkey leg while wearing a flower crown. Try doing that at the office, and suddenly you're the weirdo in HR.
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You know you're at a festival when the map is more confusing than your life decisions. I'm just here for the funnel cake, but it feels like I'm navigating through the maze of adulthood.
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Trying to find your friends at a festival is like playing hide and seek with GPS. "I'm near the giant inflatable unicorn!" Yeah, that narrows it down to about 10,000 people.
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Why is it that festival porta-potties are always a mix between a horror movie set and a game of Russian roulette? I'd rather hold it until I get home than risk my life in there.
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Festivals have this magical ability to turn you into a dancing machine. I've never seen so many people attempt coordinated moves with zero rhythm. It's like watching a flash mob of confused penguins.
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You ever notice how festivals are like the amusement parks of adulthood? You pay an entrance fee, stand in long lines, and by the end of the day, you're broke and regretting every decision you made.
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Festival fashion is something else. I saw a guy wearing a neon tutu, glitter beard, and oversized sunglasses. I thought he was lost from a time-traveling '80s aerobics class.
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